In Arthur's Head, S5
by AJsRandom
Summary: A series of stories from series/season 5 that I've remodeled to see Arthur's POV. Ch. 1 is from 5.1, Ch. 2 is from 5.2, Ch. 3 is from 5.3, Ch.4 is from 5.4, and Ch. 5 is from 5.5. I'm sticking to the storyline, just adding Arthur's spin on it. I hope you have as much fun with this as I did! (My summary stinks, please do R&R)
1. Chapter 1

**At last I've made it to S5. Whee! It's my least favorite season, but not because of the writing or acting- those were brilliant. Maybe because it's so necessarily dark or that we didn't get a Golden Age, magic returned _or_ Merlin at the Round Table. But I digress. Here's Arthur's perspective on 5.1, _Arthur's Bane_.**

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><p>It's time for a Round Table meeting, and Guinevere is nowhere to be found. She promised to meet me here, at this time. After waiting for ten minutes, I sent Merlin to search everywhere she might be. And that meant, literally, <em>everywhere<em>. She is the peoples' Queen, always putting them before herself. Fifteen minutes after he left, he ran back to me.

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

Still trying to catch his breath, he said, "I've looked all over."

"Merlin, I'm not the only one you're keeping waiting." I'm trying to keep my voice low.

"And it's _my_ fault!?" He doesn't understand transference of blame to soothe negative emotions.

"The Queen can't simply vanish."_ Starting to lose my last shred of patience_.

"Then where is she?" _That's a stupid question!_

"That's what I told _you_ to figure out!" _Patience gone_.

"Do you know how large this palace is?" _He's_ incensed?

"Insanely enough, I do."

"Then maybe _you_ should take a look." _Seriously?_

Starting to get a headache now. "Merlin, are you actually capable of doing _anything_?"

"Tolerating you." _I asked for that_.

"Oh, well . . ."

From behind me, I heard an "Ahem." I looked up to see Guinevere descending the stairs, her maidservant, Sefa, following.

"Guinevere," I said, nearly forgetting my irritation.

"I apologize for my lateness," she said. Ah, she's never late; everyone else is just early.

"Late? Not a bit. Lots of time." I gave Merlin a look, letting him off the hook. I'm sure he wanted to roll his eyes, but wouldn't with Guinevere there. We walked into the throne room side by side, Merlin and Sefa behind us.

Once everyone was seated, I began the meeting. It would not be a pleasant one. "Noble Knights of Camelot, fellow citizens, friends. I welcome you to this gathering of the Round Table. We have been granted peace and prosperity for three long years. But now, it appears a dark cloud has spread across our lands. Sir Gwaine left for Ismere about six weeks ago. Three score of our best men went with him. No word has come from them since. At my behest, Sir Elyan headed a patrol to the wastelands in the north. He didn't find any trace of Gwaine or his men. It's as if they've disappeared off the face of the Earth."

Every face in the room was grim. I knew what _I_ wanted to do, but several people would object. They'd be right to do so—after so many years of peace, whispers had begun to drift across the land. And they did not bring good news. After a good bit of debate, I dismissed the larger group and pulled my Privy Council into another room.

It was much quieter (and solemn) without Gwaine and Percival. Elyan spoke first, since he'd led the group to find them. Pointing to the map laid on the table, he began. "We saw that Gwaine and his men crossed the gap, here, at Isulfor. But after that, there was no trace. The trail went cold."

"What about this rumor that the fortress of Ismere has been inhabited again?" I asked. It was a chilling rumor, and not because Ismere was in the north and it was winter.

Elyan straightened. "I heard several rumors, Sire. Every one of them had a single name in common . . . Morgana." I think everyone in the room felt _that_ chill.

"So we haven't any time to waste."

"But if the rumors are valid, Sire, you could be walking into a trap," Gaius stated.

"Knights of Camelot do not forsake their own," I reminded him.

"Morgana will be waiting for you. She knows that."

"Those men have fought for me, bled for me . . ."

Guinevere spoke up. "May I suggest something? Why don't you take a different route? Come at Ismere from the west."

She often surprised me with her tactical insight. "Through Caerleon?"

"That would definitely surprise Morgana," Gaius commented.

I turned to Leon. "Would Annis grant safe passage to so many armed men?"

"I believe she would, Sire," Leon replied.

I thought for a moment. "Send a messenger immediately. We'll follow at first light. Remember, if we want to succeed, nobody can know of our goal." Everyone nodded and Merlin opened the door so we could leave the room.

After a moment, there was a loud clatter from the corridor and we all smiled. As I left the room I saw Merlin and Sefa on the floor picking up fruit. He must have bumped into her on his way out. When I thought he'd had enough time with the girl I yelled, "Merlin!" _Ugh, would he never learn?_ "_MERLIN!_" I yelled louder. _What would it take?_

xxxXxxx

We actually _were_ ready to depart Camelot at dawn. _That_ was a rare occurrence. After we'd been in the forest for a while, we slowed down so the foot soldiers could catch up. Merlin had worked his way up to ride next to me; I could tell he had something on his mind. After a minute, he came out with it: "Do you honestly believe Gwaine and Percival are still alive?"

That same thought had been plaguing me for almost a day. "I need to find out. They're Knights of the Round Table. It's a bond we cherish."

"I understand."

He seemed pretty down. _Gwaine is a good friend of his, dollop head_. So I employed my usual tactic to cheer him up. "If _you_ had vanished, Merlin, I wouldn't go to the trouble."

He seemed to pick up a bit after that, but not enough to insult me back. _Yeesh_. I hoped he wasn't going to be like this the entire trip. Things were depressing enough already.

We kept riding toward Caerleon until late afternoon. A few of us rode ahead to the top of a rise to look ahead of us. "The gorge indicates the border of Annis' lands," I commented.

"It's major ambush country," Elyan added.

I agreed. "Take a couple men and ride along the ridge line," I told him, pointing. He left and the rest of us rode down the hill and into the gorge. We'd gone part way down the road into the gorge when Elyan and his group returned.

"We found something you should see," he said when he got close enough. I spurred my horse on faster, everyone behind me following suit.

Elyan led us to an abandoned village. Abandoned by the living, anyway. We dismounted and walked through the place, wordlessly splitting off to find survivors. People lay everywhere, looking as if they'd been trying to escape—spilled baskets laid next to them. I grew more and more disgusted the longer we stayed. This wasn't my kingdom, but no one deserved to be senselessly slaughtered like this.

After a while, we congregated in the center of the village. I looked around and noticed someone missing. Then again, he was _usually_ missing. "Has anyone seen Merlin?"

Leon looked a little uneasy. "I saw him go into one of those cave openings." He pointed to the wall of the gorge closest to us.

"Great," I muttered and made my way over to the one Leon had indicated. It was quite dark inside, but there was Merlin staring into a pool of water. It looked like he'd been talking to the injured man next to him.

"Is he alive?" I asked him. He looked up at me surprised and _distressed_? That concerned me, and I started walking toward him. "What is it?" He looked back down at the water then shook his head. "Really, Merlin—you've seen a corpse before. After we've provided these people a decent burial, we're leaving." He still looked saddened, but followed me after I'd left.

The soldiers were gathering the bodies in a place well away from the dwellings. Others gathered wood. No one spoke much as we worked; there really wasn't a need. When the victims were all together, several pyres were built and lit. We stayed and watched for a few minutes until all the bodies were lit. Finally we climbed on our horses and rode off. We wouldn't get far before dark, but we all wanted to get away from this place of death.

xxxXxxx

The next morning, we packed up quickly to continue our journey to Caerleon's capital city. It took just a few hours but the overcast sky and chill of the season didn't help the somber mood. By the time we arrived, we were all ready for food and warm beds.

We were greeted in the palace's courtyard and escorted inside where the Queen was waiting. "Queen Annis," I greeted when I saw her.

She stood and said, "Arthur Pendragon."

"I'm very thankful that you've permitted us safe travel through your kingdom." I bowed my head in respect.

She walked over to us. "We _are_ allies, Arthur, and these are difficult times," she said, and led us to her dining hall with a grand sweep of her arm.

We entered to find a table set and laden with a variety of foods. It looked wonderful. We were all escorted to seats and sat down gratefully. Merlin took his usual place behind me.

Once we began eating, Annis began a conversation. "What you observed at Asgorath is not surprising. A few months ago, Saxons started attacking our villages. They're collecting all the men they can and hauling them to Ismere."

_Just men?_ That meant one thing. "To build an army?" I asked.

"Some say Morgana is tearing the keep apart."

_Not an army then_. "Why?"

"She seems to be looking for something. I don't dare imagine what."

Manpower to search? "So my men could still be alive?"

"Yes. There is a good possibility." Just then Merlin appeared at my left to refill our cups. Annis looked up at him and a sly smile crept onto her face. "I believe we're ready for some amusement. I would _love_ to watch your fool perform. With all his faults, he should have _some_ skills."

I looked up at him. "You'd assume so, wouldn't you?" To Merlin I said, "You heard the Queen—hop to it."

He bent down to whisper, "I'm not a fool."

"That's arguable." Leon, who'd heard, laughed quietly.

"And I have no skills!"

Now he was just trying to get out of it. I'm going to _enjoy_ this. "I realize that. But we can't say no to the Queen when she's permitted us safe travel, can we?" I started clapping and it was picked up by several others. So now he'd look like a fool if he _didn't_ do anything.

He gave me a look that was supposed to be threatening, but wasn't. Then he straightened and acknowledged the crowd with a smile. He turned his back briefly then walked to the end of the table where there was more space. Next he started the most _amazing_ thing I'd ever seen him do; he juggled with one egg and progressed to three. After he threw one and caught it behind his back (_What?!_), he showed us four eggs. He juggled those before catching them and putting his hands behind his back. When he brought his hands back around, the eggs were gone. The crowd gasped and clapped enthusiastically while he turned 'round to prove they had vanished.

I had the feeling there was a rather bewildered look on my face, because I couldn't believe what he'd just done. He was _way_ too uncoordinated to master something like that. Not to mention I didn't give him enough _time_ to master something like that.

Later that night, we were escorted to comfortable chambers in Annis's castle. Merlin brought in our things and helped me take off my armor. When he was done he sat and stared at the fire; I sat on the bed to remove my boots. Normally he'd be chatting up a storm about now, but tonight he seemed too somber. I guess it was up to me to pick up the slack.

"When did you become skilled at juggling? Frankly, I didn't even know you could catch," I stated.

"Yes, I have many talents. You've just never noticed them, that's all," he replied. That sounded _way_ too bitter for him. Something was _definitely_ not right.

"So tell me. What's the matter?"

There was a pause. I looked up to see he'd turned toward me. "I don't think we should go to Ismere."

_What?_ "Didn't you hear Annis? My men are _alive_."

"You can't be sure of that."

_Why was he trying to talk me out of this?_ "Just keep juggling, Merlin. Let me handle the important things."

"But . . ."

"Here." I threw my boots at him. They went right through his hands and to the floor. "Now explain that."

"I wish I could." I flopped back onto the bed while he went back to brooding. This was going to be a long night, unless I went to bed right away. _Where did cheerful Merlin go?_

xxxXxxx

Merlin seemed a bit livelier in the morning. He talked a bit more, at least. After a nice, hot breakfast, Annis walked with me to the courtyard. The men mounted up and rode out; I walked with her out the gate. I was putting off the saddle for as long as I could.

"Morgana has been consumed by hate," she told me and put her hand on my shoulder. "Be cautious."

"I will," I said.

"Decent allies are difficult to find. I don't want to lose one." I nodded; I totally agreed with her.

It was harder than I thought it would be to leave the warmth and shelter of Caerleon. But I needed to find my men—they wouldn't give up on me and I would never give up on them.

It got colder the further north we rode. So everyone was relieved when we stopped for the night so they could bundle up in blankets and sit by the fire. Merlin made dinner and disappeared, not taking any food with him. Sadly, I didn't notice this until I was sitting comfortably at the fire eating and enjoying the fun around me. I glanced around the fire and noticed Merlin was missing, again. I saw a shadow sitting by the stream we'd set up next to. I guessed that he must still be upset.

I got up and walked over to him. "Merlin," I said when I was closer.

I stood next to him but sat when he started speaking. "How can they laugh and tease?" he asked. He sounded so despondent.

"Hmm?"

"Don't they realize what we'll find in Ismere?"

"Yeah, sure," I admitted, "but a soldier learns to savor every day as it happens." _He knows this_.

"Since he knows it could be his last."

I analyzed him for a moment; I wasn't used to this role reversal. "How come you're so worried?"

"Morgana is strong. She's deadly." _I've never seen him scared like this_.

"I know."

I must have sounded dismissive to him. "Don't you care?"

"Just about my men. They're more than friends or brothers. Regardless of what lies before me . . . I won't forsake them, as I know they would not forsake me."

"I understand. I don't want to, but I do." Something I said must have reassured him.

"Come have some dinner." I got up to walk back to the fire. Thankfully, he followed me; I don't think I'd have to worry about his depression anymore.

Our group took a bit more time getting ready to go in the morning. The increased cold made everyone more sluggish, I guess. Then we heard a horse neigh in the distance—ours were much closer. Most of us turned to look and drew our swords. We gazed through the mist and saw backlit figures stalking toward us.

"We're surrounded," Merlin said as he walked toward me.

"We cannot remain here," Leon added. We're on a hillside at a tactical disadvantage.

Just then I looked up and saw Morgana riding toward us. "Run!" I yelled as loudly as I could.

Everyone scattered, but there were Saxons everywhere, so we were forced to stand our ground. Soon every man was engaged by at least one foe. I heard Leon yell in pain and turned to see him fighting a man in black. He kicked Leon down and I ran uphill to help him, defeating three Saxons on the way. I engaged Leon's opponent and disarmed him. I turned to fight two other warriors when a blow to my back made me gasp and fall to the ground, stunned. Suddenly Merlin was there, lifting me and trying to drag me away. I dimly noticed Elyan take on the mystery warrior.

Merlin ran pretty quickly, especially considering he was lugging me. I heard horses behind us and he paused to look. A few seconds later I felt myself lowered against something hard- _a tree?_ -and Merlin drew back. Then he was there again, picking me up and dragging me away again.

When I came back to my senses, I was lying on the ground, which was damp. _Great_. I also seemed to have lost my short-term memory. I lamented this unfortunate circumstance by groaning. When I finally looked up, I saw Merlin sitting in front of me and staring. _Now I _know_ something's wrong_.

"What happened?" I asked him. _Ugh_; _I hurt too_.

"You can't remember?" he replied.

_Hmm, we're alone_. "Where's everyone else? Leon? Elyan?"

"I couldn't do anything. I needed to get you to safety."

I had to chuckle at this. "What _really_ happened?"

"The usual—I saved your ass."

_Oh that's a good one_. "You saved me?"

"Yes. _And_ I can juggle. I've told you, I have _many_ talents." At first I thought he was trying to joke, but it came out rather bitter. He extended a hand to pull me up.

I decided to humor him. "So it seems."

"Let's go," he ordered. With that we started walking—toward Ismere, but I didn't tell _him_ that.

xxxXxxx

We'd been walking for quite a while and the landscape just kept getting bleaker and bleaker. But we'd lost enough time, and now I had even _more_ men to rescue. It seemed Merlin was quickly losing patience though. I don't blame him—it's cold.

"Could we rest a moment?" he asked.

"Only if it's short. I would like to make Ismere before dark."

"_Ismere?_ We're going _back_ to Camelot!" _Aaaand there goes his patience_.

"Navigation isn't your strong point, is it? Camelot is south. The sun comes up where?"

"The east."

"So what have we been walking toward all day long?"

"Our demise! Just the two of us facing Morgana, are you mad!?" He didn't appreciate my orienteering lesson.

"I told you—I _will_ save my men." I didn't correct the "mad" insinuation. He _could_ be right.

"No." He reached out and pulled me to a stop. Then he didn't say anything.

"If you're frightened . . . then go." He actually looked more concerned than scared.

"I'm concerned about you." _Obviously_.

I was touched, in an annoyed way. "Okay, so, I've tried to send you home. But if you won't do as I ask, the _least_ you can do is shut up." To my surprise, he didn't argue. I started walking again, but he didn't move; I stopped to say, "Come on!"

I'd resumed walking when he said, "Hmm, maybe if Morgana doesn't kill you, I will." _I'd finally gotten to him, good_.

I could work with this. "Threatening a King is treason, Merlin."

"How about threatening an ass?" I heard behind me. _Good one_.

"I heard that!"

We didn't make my goal of reaching Ismere by nightfall, and I wasn't sure how close we were. So we had to take refuge in the forest, bunking down in a sheltered area on the side of a hill, back to back.

"Arthur?" he asked.

I'd been nearly asleep. "Mmm."

"I have to tell you something. The man . . . The old man in the village . . ." _Was this about the odd daydream he'd apparently experienced there?_

"Just imagine something else, Merlin."

"No. You _have_ to listen to me. Before he died . . . he warned me . . . He said that you were in danger and that the danger was near."

He seemed serious, but . . . "He was dying, Merlin. Who could decipher what he was saying?"

"I believe he was a Druid seer_._"_ And that makes it more important?_

"You think I'd listen to a sorcerer?"

"But why would say that? He had no idea that I actually knew you." He turned part way over. "We need to go home." He moved to sit up; he's _very_ serious.

"I can't. Even if he spoke the truth, it changes nothing."

"Arthur, Camelot is nothing without you. Everything we've worked so hard to build. It will all be gone."

I turned around to lie on my elbows. He wasn't going to let this go. "Regardless of what challenges we run into, we hold to what is right. To betray our beliefs, Merlin, that's what would ruin everything we've worked for. I vow to rescue my men . . . or die trying."

That seemed to get through. "Then I vow I will protect you or die at your side." _Of course you do_. I jabbed him in the shoulder before turning over to lie on my side again. After a moment, he did the same.

We must have fallen asleep despite the cold, because I was woken by a familiar sound above us—hoof beats. Merlin woke a few seconds later and inhaled to speak, but I put a hand over his mouth. I didn't know if they were friend or foe, but I had my suspicions. Then a horribly familiar voice rang through the air:

"What are you waiting for—_find them!_ I don't care how long it takes." _Morgana_. Sometimes I really hated being right. After a few minutes, they moved on.

We waited several more minutes before moving, just to be sure Morgana and her men were good and gone. Then we got up and started walking again. At least we had these lovely dormant trees to break up the scenery a bit.

A bit later I got tired of the silence. "If we just had a horse."

"Or a pig," Merlin commented. _Now I knew where his mind was_.

"You can't ride a pig!"

"No, but we could roast it with apples, carrots and parsnips." Impractical, but tasty.

He was starting to ramble like Guinevere used to. "Merlin."

"You're right, we shouldn't misuse the apples; we'll bake them in a pie." He mistook my reprimand, probably on purpose.

"Come off it."

"I need to eat something." Then, as if by, well, magic, "food" appeared on the ground in front of us. _This was too good to be true_. "Rabbits!" he said cheerily and walked over to the two dead rabbits.

As he bent down to grab them, I finally realized what was bothering me about this scenario—it's a trap. "Merlin!" I yelled, and lunged to try and pull him back. It was a futile effort—both of us were trapped in a net hanging in the air. I suddenly wished I hadn't tried to stop him, because then I could have stayed outside it and saved him.

I was furious, but he didn't seem to care. "I have them!" _Stupid rabbits_.

We tried several times to move around in the close confines of the net. It got tiring pretty quickly, so we took to shifting around for a bit then resting. That got us a whole lot of nowhere. We kept it up though, even after night fell.

Suddenly a new idea came to me; I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it earlier. _Must be the hunger_. "If I could reach my sword . . . we could cut the rope," I said. I shifted around a bit more.

"_Oh!_ Don't set your knee there," Merlin replied, sounding a bit anxious.

"Where?" I had to move my knee someplace, and "there" isn't specific enough in this situation.

My knee touched something soft. _Oh_. "There! _Arrgh!_"

After a few more painful and frustrated grunts and groans, the sword dropped to the ground. "_MERLIN! Dammit!_" I was _way_ past furious now; so much that I couldn't speak.

"It was your fault." _What?!_

"_You! You!_" That's all I could manage. _The audacity!_

"It was your fault!" _Seriously?!_

"_Ahh!_ . . . Great. Just great." Now we were even more twisted up _and the sword is gone!_

"Where'd the other rabbit go?" _AHHHHH! Stupid . . . rabbits!_

I don't know how we managed it, but we'd somehow fallen asleep, only to be woken by a sudden falling sensation. Unlike what happens sometimes when one is just falling asleep, this was real. The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back on the ground, Merlin partially on top of me. We couldn't help but yell at the indignity. And the sudden stop.

As we lay there groaning, a man came from behind the tree. "I apologize. Did we wake you?" I rolled over to grab my sword, but the man stepped on it. "No you don't." He picked up my sword and chuckled. "The King of Camelot. You'll bring a considerable price." He pointed the sword at me. "Alive _or_ dead. Any last wishes?"

By now we'd partially sat up. "Release my servant. He shouldn't die like this," I stated. I could feel Merlin looking at me. The creepy man laughed and stood while a couple of his thugs yanked Merlin up and started walking him away.

Of course Merlin chose then to open his _big_ mouth. "If you want to kill him, you'll have to go through me first." He managed to free himself from their hold though.

"Merlin! Stand down," I ordered him. _Like he would listen_.

He didn't even look at me. "You know I never do as I'm told." The creepy guy moved toward him as I tried to get up.

"Stop!" a voice yelled from behind us. Merlin turned to look and he froze with an apprehensive look on his face. Footsteps approached; they belonged to a young man with dark, curly hair. "Shouldn't we let the Lady Morgana decide their future?"

The man who'd spoken first reluctantly agreed. He chuckled and walked away. The young man came over and helped me to my feet. Merlin stared at him with disbelief and mistrust; I didn't understand why. _Who was this mystery man?_ To me he said, "You don't recall me, do you? You saved my life once, several years back."

"Mordred," Merlin said behind us. We turned to look at him.

_Mordred_ looked back at me. "Hello, Arthur."

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><p><strong>Was anyone else creeped out by the way Mordred said that last line? Ominous much? <em>He he he<em>, no foreshadowing going on here, no way. *evil laugh* Part 2 up soon. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Arthur's Bane, Part 2_ (5.2). Enjoy!**

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><p>Rather quickly, we found ourselves surrounded and led to where more thugs were guarding a bunch of men, horses and a wagon. <em>This must have been what Annis was talking about<em>. That made them slavers; _how had Mordred ended up here?_ We were tied to the back of their wagon and forced to walk behind it as the caravan got moving again.

After we'd walked for a while, I felt annoyed enough to pick a fight. "Tell me again, Merlin—how'd we wind up like this? Oh, yeah. You were thinking with your stomach, naturally. I warned you it was a trap."

"And I warned you to return to Camelot," he said angrily, still looking straight ahead. At Mordred.

"Merlin . . ."

"Stop!" one of the Saxons yelled. The little man who'd caught us—the leader. He dismounted and walked back to us.

Merlin spoke quickly. "We can't allow them take us to Morgana. We have to get away from here. We must make a plan."

Then the leader was there and punched me in the stomach; I doubled over in pain. "Speak only when you're spoken to!" he said viciously. "Faster!" he yelled at the driver and mounted. Merlin helped me stand and we were yanked forward, nearly running in order to avoid being dragged.

We were all relieved when the caravan stopped for the night, although our hands were still bound. They didn't give us food, blankets or light a fire for us. We were left to curl up on the ground to rest as well as we could. When I lay down, Merlin was still sitting up, staring at Mordred. It looked like he'd stay that way the entire night.

When I woke in the morning, Merlin was over to me in an instant. He handed me a large chunk of bread and told me to eat it quickly without being seen. He told me Mordred had given it to him.

Soon one of the slavers came back to kick anyone who wasn't awake yet. They still didn't hand out any food, but secured us to the wagon again while they ate. After they were all ready, we started walking again. I was getting awfully tired of walking, but the bread had given me enough energy to think.

I conversed quietly with Merlin, so they wouldn't hear us. We came up with a plan that would probably have to be carried out in two steps. After the day had worn on a bit more, we put it into action. I fell to my knees then forward to my face. _Ouch_.

"Hey, stop!" Merlin yelled. I heard someone approaching; a cue for Merlin to say, "He needs water."

A kick to my side. _Ow!_ "Stand up!" _The leader, great_. I rolled and he yanked me up by my head. I tried to look faint—it wasn't hard, considering. "Not such a heroic warrior now, are you?" he spat.

"Here. I'll help him." He allowed Merlin to "help" me. I'd filched his dagger while I was bent over and winked at Merlin as I stood. Step one was completed. We started walking again; I cut our bonds.

Not too long later, while we were still in a small, snowy gorge, we looked at each other. It was time to begin the next, and hopefully last, step. Merlin leaped forward and pulled the wagon's tailgate down. The group ahead of us immediately halted at the noise.

The leader rode back and yelled, "Who did this? _Who?!_" Merlin stood to my left; I caught the leader's eye and tilted my head toward my servant.

"We have to rest," Merlin said resolutely. He wasn't acting.

The leader dismounted and walked over to us. "Sure, you can rest," he drew his sword, "forever!"

I smashed him upside the head with my "bound" hands. His sword went flying and he collapsed. I turned and threw the dagger at another slaver. A third slaver's horse reared up on him. I dived to the back of the wagon where our weapons were held. I tossed an axe which Merlin miraculously caught. I took a sword and slashed a couple times at the slaver who'd crept behind me. I turned back to grab a crossbow and bolts. I handed the latter to Merlin and we ran away from the caravan.

We ran over a rise and up a small slope before skidding to a stop in front of a crevice. It looked small enough to jump across safely. I tossed the bow and bolts over and turned to Merlin. He read what I was thinking before I could speak. He gave me that "you're insane" look and said, "You must be joking . . ."

"You have a better idea?" I backed up as much as I could then ran and leapt off a ledge of the crevice. I made it to a ledge on the other side and ducked behind some rocks. Then I looked back to see a slaver charging up the slope. Merlin backed up, still hesitant. "We don't have all day, Merlin!"

He ran and launched himself off the ledge, and landed on the edge of the ledge. He slipped down; I jumped over to help him up. I dragged him over to where I'd taken cover. By that time, not one but two slavers had made it up the slope. I grabbed the crossbow and loaded it quickly. One man was at the ledge; I shot him down. The other leapt over the crevice and I shot him as he landed.

Merlin jumped up and said, "I'll ensure they can't get over." He ran to the ledge and started hacking at it with his axe.

"Merlin!" I yelled. Because that was a _stupid_ idea, but typically _Merlin_.

I couldn't get up to stop him; another slaver was running up the slope. I reloaded the crossbow and aimed it at the third man, shooting him down before he could cross. Merlin kept hacking at the ice while I ducked down to reload the crossbow. I heard Merlin pause then give one heavy blow. The ledge broke and fell. I looked up to see Mordred on the other side. I aimed the crossbow at him while he scanned for another way to cross. Finding none, he stopped and just stared at us for a few moments. I lowered the crossbow and Mordred began to back away.

Merlin looked at me like I was insane again. "Why did you let him go?!" _Where was his mercy?_

"He had no way to follow us." I thought that was obvious.

"He was driving us to our deaths," he yelled. He _yelled_?

"He showed us mercy." I tried to stay calm.

"You should've killed him!" He yelled again; I _had_ to say something.

"What's the matter with you?" I was incredulous—I can count on one hand the times he's yelled. Besides, this is the man who got upset about killing defenseless animals

He glanced back briefly. "You had the opportunity!" At least he'd lowered his voice a bit.

"We got away, didn't we?" He should be ecstatic.

"We may not be so fortunate next time." _Nowhere near ecstatic_.

"I _love_ your optimism. Anyway, we have to keep going." I grabbed his shoulder to get him going again. Luckily that's all it took to get him running. They might regroup and come after us.

We ran until we were sure they were far behind us. Then we walked until Ismere's tower rose black in the distance. Much to Merlin's annoyance, it had begun to snow. It wasn't long until we'd reached the dreadful thing; he looked at it with deep apprehension. I noticed.

"You know, Merlin—appearances can be deceiving."

"Not this time," he replied.

We hid under cover to plan our next move. A short time later, the slavers' caravan arrived, Mordred walking near the front. _Now Merlin would say something critical about him_.

Sure enough, he said, "I warned you—you should've killed him while you had the opportunity. We'll never make it in there." _What unflinching pessimism; it wouldn't bring _me_ down_.

"Where there's a will, Merlin," I told him. He looked back at me, disbelieving. I just grinned.

We circled the keep, ducking behind boulders to keep hidden. All castles had a few features in common, and I discovered one that would get us inside. It would be messy and Merlin would hate it, but it would work. His comfort was the least of my concerns, but I still had to do a fair bit of convincing. At nightfall, we crept toward the entrance I'd pinpointed and began crawling up the incline of the keep's food disposal tunnel.

"Why'd I let you talk me into this?" he asked when we were about halfway up. Ironically, food was dumped right in front of him at that moment. He narrowly avoided most of it and glared back at me.

"It's genius, Merlin . . ." I told him.

"Genius," he said with contempt.

To add insult to injury, I pointed and said, "You have a little, um . . . carrot in your hair." He frantically brushed at his hair. "Least I think it's carrot." He threw a handful of food waste at me then made gagging noises, but resumed crawling.

We reached the end and crawled off into a connecting tunnel. Merlin began brushing food bits off himself. I found a hole in the wall and looked down to see several shirtless men and a few Saxons. The Saxons were directing the men to load rocks into a cart situated on a track.

When Merlin caught up to me, I asked him, "All set?"

"For what?" he asked with trepidation. He looked down.

"Our carriage awaits." I got up and began looking for a way down to the men below. When no one was looking, we crept into the cart and covered ourselves with a cloth. We were pushed down the track, hopefully to an area where my men were working. The cart came to a sudden halt and I heard a guard say, "Move it!"

We waited a few moments and crawled out of the cart. There was _definitely_ work happening here. We ran from cover to cover until we reached a window of sorts that looked down onto a lower level.

"The place is full of Saxons," Merlin commented.

"Then we'd better take care to blend in," I replied, then ducked away. We needed a couple of Saxons to strip.

"Arthur!" he yelled indignantly behind me.

I took down a couple of isolated Saxon guards easily. Their clothes reeked, but they'd allow us to blend in. We made our way down to the lower level, acting like we owned the place. All the slaves kept to their work, so no one noticed my identity. After a bit of strutting around, I spotted Percival pushing a cart. I grabbed his arm and he whirled around like he wanted to deck me.

"Arthur!" he said, surprised to see me.

"Did you honestly believe we'd leave you here? Where's everyone else?" I asked.

He looked around. "They're . . . scattered all over."

_Not_ good news. "Gwaine?"

"Saw him one or two days back, but . . ." _He was missing_.

I put my sword in the cart he'd been pushing. "Use it to acquire a few more."

"Arthur," Merlin said in warning. Percival and I looked up to see a real Saxon.

"Work on freeing the others, we'll find Gwaine." I'd grabbed Percival's arm and he yanked it away, to keep up our act. Merlin and I strode away in the opposite direction. I grabbed a torch and we began searching the entrances to other tunnels. I chose one and we went inside.

We crept around through the natural tunnels, not shying away from Saxon guards. We'd gone quite a ways when we rounded a corner. Someone jumped out at us with a "RAAHHH!" _Gwaine, at last_. I caught the torch he was using as a club and yanked on him.

"Trust you to not be working," I commented.

"It's about time!" he retorted. He grinned at me as Merlin pushed around me to get a look at something in front of us. I turned to look also, and saw something . . . unusual. It was human-shaped, but with a bigger head and longer limbs. When it stood, it was tall and thin. And most eerie—it _glowed_. Gwaine seemed familiar with it; he said to it, "Friends. Good friends." It looked at us curiously for a few minutes before running and disappearing behind a rock wall.

"What was that?" I asked. The other two didn't seem _nearly_ as freaked out as I was.

"I'm not really certain. But I owe it my life," Gwaine replied. Merlin glanced back at us, then back to where the creature had disappeared. After a couple more minutes, he seemed to come back to his senses and we began navigating back to the cave's opening.

On our way, Merlin had paused to look at something, then hurried back to us. "Something's not right. The Saxons—where did they all go?"

He's worried about the stupid _Saxons_? "First there are loads of them, now there aren't enough. Are you ever content?" Gwaine and I kept walking.

Merlin ran up to us again. "What was that?"

_Maybe he's going loopy from being underground? _That happens to some people. "What?"

"Feel the wind," he said. A very warm breeze blew in our faces. It was followed by an inhuman growl.

"That wasn't wind," Gwaine said unnecessarily. Merlin flinched; I pulled him backwards and tossed the torch down. I saw something white and scaly run toward us while the growling got louder. I threw an arm around Gwaine and hauled him back the way we'd come. Merlin found a natural alcove and pulled us so we fell inside it. The dragon ran past us quickly, breathing fire as it went. We struggled up and stared after it in shock. "Was that what I think it was?" Gwaine managed.

"Where did Morgana find a _dragon_?" I'm not sure I could take any more surprises today.

"I've no clue," Merlin said. He seemed distracted, but turned back to me. "Take Gwaine to Percival. I'll lead the dragon another way."

_Oh-kay. Surprise!_ "Merlin, I realize you're foolish, but not that foolish." I looked at Gwaine for help.

"No, I actually am that foolish and if you don't accept that, watch . . ." He took off down the tunnel before I could grab him.

"Merlin!" I yelled futilely. To Gwaine I said, "I'm following him," then got up to give chase.

He'd gotten further than I thought he had. I took a few turns and called out: "Merlin!" I heard growling and other unnerving noises and called out again, "Merlin! Merlin?" I took a few more steps and emerged into a bigger, well-lit space with multiple tunnels leading off from it. I paused when I heard a deadly familiar voice behind me.

"How nice of you to spare me the hassle of finding you." I attempted to reach for my sword, which wasn't there. "Dear me, how careless of you. Your courage is equaled only by your idiocy." I could practically hear the smirk in her voice. "What did you possibly imagine you would accomplish by coming here?"

Finally I turned to face her. To my surprise, Mordred stood behind her. "I'm here to rescue my men." I controlled my expression—I didn't need her taking advantage of my emotions.

"_Fleoge_ . . ." One word and a dagger floated in front of me only to stab into my shoulder. _Ahhh!_ I fell to the ground, curled up. "It appears there truly is no way out this time."

"I'm sorry for how our father treated you," I managed to gasp out. _He made her into _this.

"Uther was _never_ my father." I apologized and _that's_ what she focused on?

"But we're brother and sister." I began using the rocks behind me to climb upward.

"Interesting how you decide to remember that with my dagger at your back." _Wonderful_.

I finally made it to standing, and turned to face her. _Floating dagger, how nice_. "What happened to you, Morgana? When you were young, you were so thoughtful, so caring . . ."

"I grew up." I watched her eyes flash gold again and the dagger stabbed me a second time. I fell back into the rock wall and tried not to pass out. "You are wise to tremble at my hand. I am more powerful than you can conceive of."

"But with all that, you decide to do nothing but hate."

She gave me a vicious smile. "Uther trained me perfectly. Goodbye, Arthur Pendragon."

"Arthur!" I heard Merlin yell; all three of us turned to look. _No, not Merlin!_ Mordred drew a dagger as Merlin ran into our little conflict.

"No!" I yelled. She didn't even speak a word and he was thrown into a wall. He slid down and didn't get up. "Morgana . . . Please . . ." Another flash of her eyes and my head collided with the rock next to me. _Oh, the pain_ . . . I barely heard her next words.

"Don't talk, dear brother. Time's up." She came very close and I waited for the end. "_Hine _. . . Mordred?" The next thing I knew, I was being helped to my feet by someone . . . _Merlin?_ No, he was passed out on the floor, like Morgana. _Morgana?_ That left Mordred.

He half-carried half-dragged me through a few tunnels until we came to one that was brighter and stopped. I looked up and heard someone say, "Arthur . . ." _Was that Percival?_ He came over and took me from Mordred, who looked kind of afraid of the group of armed knights. Gwaine gave him a look but left him alone. Mordred followed us out.

By the time all of my men had been gathered, Merlin had caught up to us. I was glad to see he wasn't hurt—visibly, at least. I sent a couple of men to look for Morgana, but she'd disappeared. All the Saxons had fled as well, so we took a few hours to rest and locate food. After a night of sleep, enough clothing was scrounged up so no one would freeze on the journey back to Camelot. Mordred shared how he'd stabbed Morgana, so I invited him to come back to Camelot with us. I had a rather unique reward in mind for him.

xxxXxxx

I talked my decision over with the Round Table knights and the Council. Both agreed. I could tell that Merlin didn't agree, but he didn't oppose me even when I asked for his opinion—which I did more and more these days.

So two days after we returned from Ismere, the court convened in the throne room for a knighting ceremony. This one was a first; he was not only the youngest but the first former druid to be knighted during my reign.

When I called for him, he walked front and center to kneel at my feet. I didn't like giving long speeches about anything, let alone knightly virtues. I certainly didn't believe I was a paragon of them, like I used to. I simply recounted what he'd done for me and spoke the words of the ceremony.

"Arise, Sir Mordred, Knight of Camelot." He stood and smiled; I couldn't help but smile back. I prompted him to turn so the court could applaud him. He walked back down the aisle to the sound of applause, a proud new knight of quickly, we found ourselves surrounded and led to where more thugs were guarding a bunch of men, horses and a wagon. _This must have been what Annis was talking about_. That made them slavers; _how had Mordred ended up here?_ We were tied to the back of their wagon and forced to walk behind it as the caravan got moving again.

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><p><strong>Next- the creepy but cool <em>The Death Song of Uther Pendragon<em>, 5.3.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I like to call this "Return of the (Demented) King." But y'all know it better as _The Death Song of Uther Pendragon_. Bit wordy, isn't it?**

**Mika27110- Yeah, there is something alluring about darker Merlin. ;) And it was surprising how little text there was in this episode. I added about 3K words of (mostly) description.**

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><p>It was late afternoon on the worst day of hunting I've <em>ever<em> had. We caught absolutely _nothing_, all because of _Mer_lin. I swear he coughs, sneezes _et cetera_ because he wants to save the "poor helpless animals." He'll _never_ admit to that, but everyone in Camelot knows how much he _hates_ hunting. But he _insists_ on coming _every_ time for some reason _besides_ saving all animal kind. I just know it.

After a long period of silence on our ride home, he sneezed and said, "You're still upset at me, aren't you?"

"We took the whole day to hunt, but caught nothing, since every time we got anywhere close to something you sneezed and scared it away." _Unfortunately_.

"_Not_ the last time."

_But that was worse_. "No, that time you tumbled into a river. Nobody would call you predictable, Merlin."

"I feel like I'm catching a cold." _Fantastic_.

"I hope it's an awful one." After a few more silent moments, a scream rang out through the trees, some distance away. "What was that?"

"It was probably a bird," Merlin commented, making a show of looking upward. The scream rang out again, sounding more human. "That? That was obviously a woman in distress." I stopped my horse, dismounted, unsheathed my sword, and sprinted off in the direction of the scream. I heard Merlin muttering behind me, but followed soon enough.

We crouched down next to a tree and saw the houses of a village. A line of people walked toward a stake surrounded by wood. The woman screamed again, and it was now clear why. Merlin stood up and ran closer.

"What are you trying to do?" I yelled after him.

"I presume we're going to risk our lives to see what's happening." He stopped behind another tree as I got up to follow him.

"I didn't think I'd ever say this, Merlin, but you're learning." I walked past him toward the villagers; he followed.

The villagers now circled the stake. The woman, very old, was now tied to it, and a man- _village chief?_ -with a torch stood in front of her, prepared to speak. "Let the woman go," I ordered. Everyone looked at me.

"This woman has been condemned to death. This doesn't involve you," the village chief said.

"I am Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot, and your village is in my kingdom." That shut him up, for a moment.

"Her magic has brought illness and misery to our village."

"Was she given a fair trial?"

"Your father wouldn't have shown her any mercy."

"I am not my father. Now let her go." _People really should know that by now_.

"I won't endanger the lives of these people." He turned to light the pyre, but before he could even bend over, my sword was at his chest.

"I said . . . let her go."

The man lowered the torch and dropped it to the ground. Merlin jumped forward to stomp it out while the village chief pulled out a knife and cut the ropes holding the old woman to the stake. I planted my sword in the ground to help her down and away from the pyre. When she was safe, I turned and addressed the villagers. They were to bring any future suspects to _me_, since I couldn't trust them to judge fairly. I helped her take Merlin's arm and we slowly walked back to our horses.

We walked at her pace until night had fallen. It wasn't very far, but it was away from that village. She'd clearly been abused and didn't look long for this world. I found a spot to camp just off the road; Merlin lit a fire and made the woman comfortable while I searched for more wood.

After I'd gathered an armful of kindling, I walked back and dumped it next to the fire. "Is there anything else you can do for her?" I sat on the other side of the woman.

"She won't live through the night," he said, continuing to sponge her forehead.

"Make her as comfortable as you can." She suddenly grabbed my wrist and turned her head toward me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I put my other hand over hers. "You should rest."

"My time is near. When you've lived as long as I, you don't fear the journey to the next life." She glanced down to her other hand, which held a wrapped object. "I have a present for you. You've shown mercy and compassion. Those are the traits of a true king." She handed me the object. "Open it."

I unwrapped the object to find an ornate horn. "It's exquisite."

"It has the power to call the spirits of the dead." I looked at her, stunned. She started struggling to breathe. A minute later her eyes closed and she stopped breathing. She was gone and we had no other information about this horn other than its eerie alleged power.

We quickly dug a shallow grave for her a little ways from our camp. Then we had a bit of dinner, not talking very much. Merlin laid out our bedrolls and volunteered to take watch, but I wasn't tired yet and told him to get some rest. I picked up the horn and turned it over and over in my hands. It looked innocent enough, but I knew enough about magical objects to leave them well enough alone. At least until I knew more about it.

xxxXxxx

The trip back to Camelot was quite short. It was still morning when we walked into Gaius's chambers. I told him the story of how I'd acquired it and handed it to him so he could examine it. Merlin and I stood there with our arms crossed, listening.

"The Horn of Cathbhadh. When Uther assaulted the Isle of the Blessed, the Horn of Cathbhadh was spirited away before the temple was taken. No one has seen it since," the old physician informed us.

"The old woman mentioned its purpose is to open the door to the spirit world?" I asked.

He started walking back toward me. "I've witnessed it myself. Many years before the Great Purge, I participated in such rituals. Each year at Beltane, the High Priestesses gathered at the Great Stones of Nemeton and called for the spirits of their ancestors. It possesses powerful magic." He handed it back to me. "You need to protect it." He gave both of us stern looks before turning away to continue his work.

Merlin gave me an odd look, like he knew what I was thinking. Then I ordered him to help me unpack, prepare a bath and other usual chores. Tonight was the feast celebrating my coronation. Well, for everyone _else_ to celebrate my coronation. I wouldn't.

At the feast, I sat at the head of the table, Guinevere on my left. I was happy to see everyone else happy, really I was. But I will always associate my ascension to the throne with the death of my father. I know he wasn't perfect; I've faced the consequences of his mistakes. But he was still the only parent I'd had and I'd loved him.

After a while, Guinevere leaned over and asked if I was all right. I guess my somber mood was written all over my face. I told her I was ready to leave; the celebratory air was too much for me and I didn't want to detract from it. She wouldn't question me—she was one of the few people who knew my reason for wanting to leave.

I bent my steps down toward the crypt. My father's was in a room of its own, lit by the candles on multiple braziers. I walked around to the other side from the door and put my hand out to touch his likeness. Some days, like today, I felt _so_ lost without him. And now I apparently had the means to see him again, ask for his advice. But to meddle with magic, again . . . I just don't know.

xxxXxxx

The next day, I sat in my chambers after training. I had a few minutes to ponder the idea that had come to me in the last few hours. It would be very risky, probably more than I realized. But I really wanted to do this.

I sat at my table, turning the horn around in my hands. A knock on the door startled me; I thought quickly and threw the apples out of the bowl in front of me. I turned it over on top of the horn so it was hidden. I'm not sure why I felt the need to hide it; there couldn't be many who'd know what it was. Merlin came into the room, looking down at the now-decorated floor so he could avoid the apples.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and bent down to pick up the fruit.

"Nothing . . . Thinking," I eventually said.

"You, thinking? Okay, now I'm _definitely_ getting concerned." He brought the apples to the table.

"Shut up." He started to pick up the bowl, to put the apples away. I smacked my hand down on it before he could lift it, he jumped back a bit. "Leave it!" I ordered.

"Why?" _Really? Because I said so!_

"Because I told you to and I'm the King of Camelot, even though that seems to mean nothing to you." He _seemed_ to give up, and reached for the pitcher. I took my hand off the bowl and like a flash he reached for the bowl with both hands. But I'd put my hand on it again. "Get the horses and collect the usual supplies."

We stood at the same time. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"I'm not telling you right now." I brandished a spoon in his face. "Don't say anything to anyone about this. Not even Guinevere."

"You're intimidating me with a spoon?" He gave me a dirty look. Just for that, I hit him between the eyes with the back of the spoon. "Ow!" he howled. But he'd gotten the message and began packing my things with minimal input from me.

xxxXxxx

About midafternoon we reached the rolling plain that meant we were within a few miles of the Great Stones of Nemeton. It seemed like a peaceful area, despite the threatening weather. But of course I forgot my eternal pessimist.

"I'm having a terrible feeling about this place," Merlin offered.

"That's because you're a wimp," I replied. I didn't want to admit that his "feelings" usually turned out to be accurate.

"No. It's because I like my life and don't wish to die unpleasantly." _Can't argue with that_.

I had to concede. "Good point."

"So, we're going to turn around?" Funny how he thought my concession meant _that_.

"No."

When we got within a hundred yards or so of the stones, we dismounted and led the horses. There wasn't any place closer to tether them. "What are they?" he asked, pointing.

"The Great Stones of Nemeton." I handed him my reins and turned back to my saddlebag. I pulled out the horn and started to walk toward the Stones.

"You're going to try it?" He must have seen it in my hands.

"This is the one opportunity I have to talk to my father again. I can't let it go by." He followed me, bringing the horses with him.

"It's powerful magic."

I stopped and looked back at him. "I lost my father before his time. And every single day I think of things I wish I'd said to him. If someone gave you the opportunity to see your father again, talk with him, wouldn't you do the same?" He nodded without hesitation.

After he tied the horses to the tree, we walked over to the Stones. He stopped at the edge of the circle the giant rocks made. I walked to the center where there was a heap of stone that could have been an altar. Then I pulled the horn out of my belt and pondered what I was about to do. _Well, this wouldn't get any easier with time_. I put the horn to my lips and blew.

Nothing happened for a moment, then a bright light surrounded me, obscuring everything around me. I walked forward as a mist arose and a figure appeared. It walked toward me and I stopped, waiting. "Father."

"Arthur," he replied. My heart was beating _so_ fast.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't think of you."

"And I, you." _He misses me too!_

"Sometimes when I feel alone, I want you by my side more than anything."

"If I'd been by your side, I'm afraid you wouldn't like what I have to say." _Huh?_

"I don't understand." I was _really_ confused.

"Several decisions you've made since becoming King are contrary to everything I've taught you."

_He can't really think that_. "I've done what I have thought to be right."

He started walking toward me. "You've cast aside our traditions, our earliest laws. You've permitted common men to become knights."

"They are some of the best knights that Camelot's ever seen. They would willingly sacrifice their lives for the kingdom." He looked confused, or maybe unwilling to believe.

"They challenge your decisions. They make you seem weak." He walked past me, as if going in a circle. I had to turn to keep facing him.

"Considering others' views is a mark of strength, not weakness." They helped me see different sides to issues we faced.

"How do you suppose anyone could fear a King who doesn't know his own mind?" _Fear?_

"I don't wish for my people to respect me because they fear me."

"Then they will never respect you. Your marriage should have cemented a treaty with another kingdom but you chose to marry a serving girl."

"I married for love. I love Guinevere. More than . . . I can say." I didn't come here to argue or justify my decisions to him.

"Some things are more important than love. It's your responsibility to build up and defend the kingdom. You've failed." He'd taken a step toward me.

"I've always striven to please you."

"How can I be pleased by a son who disregards all I taught him? Who is ruining my legacy?"

I shook my head; that had really hurt. "I've returned peace to the kingdom . . ."

"At what cost? The peace can't endure. If you're not strong, the kingdom will collapse." He paused for a moment—I couldn't restrain a tear. "You have to go now." He started walking back the way he'd come.

I had to turn again. "I need more time. There's still a lot I want to say." I didn't want him to leave.

"If you remain, you'll be trapped forever in the realm of the dead. You have to go now. _Go_."

Was he _trying_ to push me away? "_This_ cannot be the last time I ever see you."

"Consider all I've told you. There's still time. Now go." I reluctantly turned and began walking away. "I will love you always, Arthur," he said softly. I turned to look back for a brief second; he disappeared before my eyes.

As I kept walking, the bright light and mist gradually faded away. My eyes were on the ground, so I didn't notice Merlin was still there until he said, "Arthur?" I felt totally beat up, physically and mentally, even though I'd done nothing but stand and talk. It really hurt to know my father disapproved of what I'd thought were good decisions.

I didn't say much to Merlin, and he seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk yet. When it really came down to it, he knew when to stay silent and when to talk. It wasn't until we'd made camp- away from the Stones -for the night and eaten dinner that I felt settled enough to talk. It turns out that he was right about them feeling awful.

I was staring into the fire when he asked, "Want to talk about it?" I looked up at him so he'd get the hint to clarify. "What you saw at the Stones?"

"Apparently my father disapproves of the way I've chosen to govern his kingdom."

"You mean _your_ kingdom." He had a point there. _Again_.

"Everything he said about the knights and marrying Guinevere. What if he's correct? What if I've ruined Camelot?"

"Do you honestly think that?" _He's being my conscience again_. "You've always done what you felt to be right. People look up to you."

"Thank you Merlin." _How does he do this?_

"A few people still consider you a foolish, supercilious ass."

"Who?" He grinned; I'd fallen for his jibe, but it made me feel better, as usual. "Very funny." I looked around for a moment, deciding I could finally sleep. "We should get a bit of rest." I laid back to find a comfortable spot on the ground and slept.

xxxXxxx

We got back early enough the next day for the Round Table meeting. It was going as usual—patrol reports, training reports, incident reports, and finally, troop movements. Leon gave this report, and he wasn't _trying_ to put us to sleep, but many of us were fighting it at that point.

"We've distributed men from Pawlett down to Meldreth. This consists of thirty troops at Bawtry. Fifteen at Talan. Ten at Chime. Nine at Brune." The doors leading to the inner chamber flew open, startling everyone. _We're awake now!_ I nodded at Leon to continue. "Eleven at Burwell . . ." The candelabra, with no prior warning, chose that moment to fall onto the Round Table. _Everyone_ jumped.

After that, continuing the meeting was pretty pointless. My nerves were frayed and the table was cracked. The stupid heavy candelabra was fine, except for the broken chain. I dismissed everyone and contemplated the accident. When everyone had left, I stood , took off my cloak and tossed it over the back of my chair. _Time to go_.

I threw a glance at Merlin and began walking out of the room. When he got close enough, I started talking. "I need the table mended by the next council meeting. Do you hear me, _Merlin_?" I stopped to wait for him, impatiently.

"What? Sorry. I was just pondering what happened," he replied, sounding distracted. I could relate.

I resumed walking. "Did you get a bad scare?" _Mocking helped distract me from my own_.

"Definitely. My heart almost jumped out my mouth."

"Oh, then perhaps you should have what's left of the day off and take a break?"

"_Really_?" He stopped to stare at me in disbelief. _As if_. "You were teasing."

"There's truly no limit to your intellect, is there, Merlin?" I left him standing there to ponder that for a moment, then called out his name to get his attention. He seemed distracted again though.

xxxXxxx

I found the source of Merlin's distraction at dinnertime. I'd heard about Percival's accident in the armory and was glad to hear his life wasn't in danger. But now my servant was here with _another_ crazy theory.

"_What?_" I asked.

"I think you might have freed your father's spirit at the Stones of Nemeton," he repeated.

"And why do you think that?" He _must_ realize how that sounded.

"Did you look back?" I was puzzled; _where was he going with this?_ "As the veil shut, did you look back at your father?"

I thought for a moment. "I might have turned round for a second." I stood up and paced toward the window; I couldn't focus on eating.

"In that second, you released Uther's spirit. All the weird things that have been happening? The candelabra collapsing onto the Round Table."

But there were logical reasons for these things. "Yes, because the chain failed."

"The axe hitting Percival."

"It was an accident."

"Was it?"

"Do you honestly expect I'd consider that my father's spirit is to blame for these things?" _Although that druid boy's spirit used Elyan_ . . .

He started walking around the table toward me. "The Round Table symbolizes everything you've changed since you became King. You told me how Uther chastised you. He's furious at you and that implies he's dangerous."

_Oh come on_. "I know my father. He wouldn't act like this."

"I believe he'd do whatever it takes to guard his legacy. Who can tell _what_ he'd do?"

_Now he's starting to worry me_. "Stop! That's enough." I paused to really look at him. He was totally serious. "Go away," I needed to think, but he didn't leave. "Go!" At that he finally walked out, giving me his disgusted look as he went. Did he really just expect me to believe his crazy theory? I walked to the window and waited for Guinevere to return for the evening.

I hadn't expected _Merlin_ come in instead of her. But then again, I didn't expect to follow him down to Gaius's chambers to see her recovering from a mysterious attack either.

"You realize this was Uther," Merlin stated. _Strange kind of comfort_.

"We can't be sure what happened," I replied. I watched Gaius care for her.

"So Gwen just inexplicably happened to be stuck in the kitchens, which just inexplicably burst into flames. You said yourself Uther criticized your marriage to Gwen."

"He wouldn't do this," I said without conviction.

"I see how difficult this is for you."

_I couldn't think about his theory now_. "Gaius, how is she?"

"Smoke went into her lungs, but she will heal in time. She's taken a sleeping draught. She was fortunate to escape with her life." He didn't say so, but he seemed to support Merlin's theory.

"I've seen how merciless my father could be, but why would he do this to Guinevere? He knows I love her greatly." In the absence of contrary evidence, I'd given in. "Gaius. What do you know about spirits?"

"We need to compel Uther's spirit to go back to the other world before he harms anyone else. We have to use The Horn of Cathbhadh to reopen the door connecting the worlds. But we have to remember this . . . only the person who called the spirit can drive it from this world."

He went on to explain about a potion that would allow a living person to see spirits of the dead. This situation was different from the Dorocha's release—the tear allowed _all_ kinds of spirits to roam free. What I'd done was parted the veil to step inside for a short time, then closed it behind me as I walked out. In turning to see him again, I'd held it open for Father to come out with me, _then_ closed it. He was invisible to everyone. To force him back I had to be able to _see_ him. That made sense.

Merlin and I went back to my chambers to wait for Gaius to brew the potion. Waiting was _definitely_ not one of my strengths. I liked to confront situations head-on with action. I took the horn out of the drawer I'd stashed it in and laid it on the table, contemplating hunting my own father. Merlin just puttered around, tidying things up—until he dropped a platter in the silence. My nerves were so frayed I jumped.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"You're lucky it's difficult to frighten me," I told him. I'd never admit to the frayed nerves.

"Seriously? Because it seemed like you leapt out of your skin."

"That's because you're a clumsy fool. Pick up that stuff." He bent to the floor to pick up the platter and whatever had been on it. "Where's Gaius? How long can it take to brew a potion?" I picked up the horn.

"This potion takes time to brew correctly." He said that like he was talking to an impatient child. Then we heard an odd sound coming from behind him and turned our heads to look that way.

"What is it?"

He stood up and whispered, "I heard a noise behind that door."

"You're dreaming it, Merlin."

He bent down again to pick up the platter and we heard the same sound. "What should we do?" he asked, whispering again.

I walked toward him quietly and snuck over to the suspect door. I paused and looked back at him, gesturing for him to put down the tray and get over to me. Amazingly, he understood this time. Still gesturing, I told him to open the door then get out of the way so I could confront whatever it was. After I counted up to three with my fingers, we did it. We looked around the passage before startling at the sound of a rat. I rolled my eyes. "There's your phantom, Merlin."

We turned simultaneously then jumped and yelped at the sight of . . . Gaius. He jumped a little too—none of us had been expecting how the others appeared. Gaius gave us his "look," which relieved (and sobered) us immensely.

We walked over to the table and sat down at it. There were two little bottles there, staring at us, but Merlin and I stared at each other. "This potion will permit you to see Uther's spirit form. Once you're near him, you have to blow the horn. It's the only way to make him return to the spirit world."

We picked up the bottles; Merlin opened his first. I had the presence of mind to ask, "Is it safe?"

Gaius opened his mouth to reply, then paused to think before replying, "I'm not completely certain." _Not very reassuring_. I uncorked mine and we "toasted" each other.

Merlin brought his up to his mouth but stopped when he saw I hadn't moved. "Why are you waiting?"

"To find out if it's safe."

"So, if I live, you'll drink yours?" He kept looking over at Gaius for some odd reason.

"Exactly. Get to it." He gave the bottle an apprehensive look and hesitated once or twice, but downed it. I watched to see his reaction, but he just shook his head and looked at me as if to say, _why haven't you done it yet?_ Okay then. "Well, apparently it doesn't kill you straight away," I said and drank the stuff. _Ohhh yuk!_ I nearly dropped the bottle and had to cover my mouth so I couldn't spit it out on reflex. "_Eurgh!_ That . . . That is the most _disgusting_ thing I've ever consumed."

Merlin made a funny face then and practically croaked: "Sorry. Did I neglect to mention that bit?" _Umm, yes. Yes you did, you idiot!_

We couldn't waste any more time by whining about the potion. So we stood up and looked at Gaius, who looked apologetic, but nodded to us. Once we'd left my chambers, I picked up a torch and waved it at the dark corners before going down the corridor.

Merlin gasped and said, "There!"

"Where?" I hurried to catch up to him. He stared oddly at the wall then picked up his hand to wave it around.

"Oh, it's only our shadows." I smacked him upside the head for that idiocy. "_Ow!_"

We continued down the corridor, opening doors here and there. I brandished the torch menacingly. After opening one door, we paused when we heard this weird wind and movement on the other side of the next door. I reached for my sword, but when the door opened it was just Leon. "Arthur. Merlin," he said after we'd all jumped. He looked as startled as we felt.

"Leon," we said together.

"Is everything okay, my Lord?" _Was it?_ At this point I wasn't sure of _anything_.

"It's just great. We are . . . Merlin. Inform Leon what we're doing." Deflection is a good tool.

"We're . . . I'm instructing him in poetry," Merlin offered. Leon looked surprised, but not half as surprised as I felt.

"Poetry?" He was questioning our sanity. I was too.

"I . . . adore poetry," I reluctantly "admitted."

"I was as stunned as you are. He can't get enough of it," Merlin added. And he probably had a big goofy grin on his face. The kind I liked to smack _off_ his face.

"I'll let you return to your poetry, then, my Lord," Leon said, then walked past us.

When Leon was gone, I could finally give Merlin a piece of my mind. "_Poetry?_ That's best thing you could think of?"

He came back irritated. "What did you think I'd say?"

"I don't know. Something that didn't insinuate I'm a love-struck girl." Something caught my eye behind him—father. He glared at me before striding off down another corridor.

Merlin followed my line of sight, but missed him. "What was that?"

"_That_ was my father," I told him as I walked to the corridor, Merlin following. "I never imagined that someday I would be hunting my own father. When I became King, I just wanted him to be proud of me." Merlin looked like he wanted to say something but shook his head instead. "What is it?"

"You've always done what you thought to be right, even despite your father's disapproval. Don't you see how different the two of you are? Camelot has changed for the better while you've been King."

"My father obviously doesn't agree," I scoffed.

"The people have faith in _you_, Arthur. It's all for naught if you don't have faith in yourself." That weird wind sounded again, and we followed it around the corner. There was a noise in the storeroom then another further down the corridor.

"Check the storeroom," I told him, then went the other direction. I reached the end without finding anything, so I rounded the next corner. The weird wind blew past again. The next time it blew, the torch went out and footsteps sounded down the next corridor.

"Merlin? Merlin, is that you?" Nothing but a cold presence that crept by my side. "Father?" I whipped around to follow it. I tossed the torch down and pulled the horn out of my belt then walked on. The wind blew as I rounded the corner. The door to the throne room opened to my right; I pushed it slowly and went inside. I turned when it slammed shut behind me. It locked on its own and the wind blew. "I know it's you, Father. Why do you do this?" I turned around slowly to see him sitting in the throne.

"I did not work my whole life to build this kingdom to watch my own son ruin it," he said viciously.

"You attempted to kill Guinevere." I tried to stay matter-of-fact even though I was seething inside.

"For your own good. How can a serving girl know what being Queen means?"

"Guinevere is intelligent and strong, and I trust her over anyone."

"And that is your weak point. You place too much trust in other people. You and only you should rule Camelot."

_Ouch_. It was getting hard to rein in my anger. "I'd prefer not to rule at all, than rule alone."

He looked at me in disbelief. "Your entire life I sought to ready you for the time you would become King. Didn't you learn anything?"

"I observed how you ruled, and I learnt that if you trust nobody, you'll constantly live in fear. Your hate originated from fear, not strength." That much was clear.

He stood up, perturbed. "You dare provoke me!"

"I loved and respected you. But I need to rule the Kingdom in my own way. I must do what I think is right."

He raised his voice. "I won't permit you to ruin everything I built."

"Then you'll need to kill me." Now he was shocked, but I meant it. "I'm not _you_, Father. I cannot rule in the manner you did."

"Camelot must take precedence above everything. Even you." I heard something move behind me, felt pain at the side of my head then nothing.

I came to on the floor of the throne room. A shield lay next to me; that's probably what knocked me out. There were faint noses coming from the direction of the armory and I wondered who father was after now. I picked myself up and ran toward the armory

Father was stalking toward Merlin, who was pinned to the far wall. "Killing you will give me great pleasure."

"Father!" I yelled as I walked into the room. He turned to look at me and I took the horn out of my belt. I held it up so he could see it; he lowered the sword from Merlin's neck.

"Arthur! No! Please. What I have done, I did for Camelot."

Tears swamped my eyes. It killed me to have to do this. "You've had your go. Now it's mine."

"Merlin has . . ." He seemed to expand as he yelled in protest and dissolved.

Merlin and I looked at each other. Several different emotions flitted across his face—fear, relief, pain, joy, sadness . . . sadness? For _me_? Because I definitely felt that; I'd just essentially killed my father. I wanted to curl up in my bed and cry, which I _could_ actually do since there were several hours until dawn. I put the horn back in my belt and pulled out the spears that had pinned Merlin to the door. He walked me back to my room where I slept until midmorning.

xxxXxxx

After brunch, I had to get ready for training. Life must go on. We were jousting today and that particular armor resided in the armory. Being here reminded me of last night and I felt able talk about it. "I'd always respected my father. I admired and revered him more than anyone. I need to acknowledge that I can't satisfy him, and be true to myself."

"Uther acted how he felt he had to, to defend the Kingdom," Merlin commented as he slid the armor down over my head.

I stood up so he could buckle it easier. "That doesn't mean he was correct. I intend to create a kingdom that is fair and just. One where all are accepted, despite status."

"Does that include me?"

"Naturally."

"So you won't smack me anymore?"

_Huh?_ "When do I ever smack you?"

"Almost constantly."

_Oh, I get it_. "That isn't smacking, Merlin. That's just friendly slapping. It's horseplay."

"So I can give you a friendly slap?"

"You can definitely attempt it." Something that felt like my glove struck the back of my head. _Hmm_. I turned around. "What the hell was that?"

He looked a little apprehensive, or maybe fearful of retribution. "It was, um . . . horseplay."

I took my gloves from him. "No, Merlin, you're executing it all wrong." I put one glove on, then fisted my hand as I pulled on the other. "Why don't I demonstrate?"

He ran.

* * *

><p><strong>LOL, I'd run too. Or find some way to <em>creatively<em> disarm him. _Hmm_. Next up- reason #137 why I hate what they did to Morgana.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay. My NaNoWriMo project is getting in the way a bit so updates may come a bit slower. I plan to post it here at FF at some point. :) And now another defining moment for our king- _Another's Sorrow_.**

**Mika271170- It is rather like they were giving us a close-up of Arthur before yanking him away. And yes, _Another's Sorrow_. Or _How to Swallow Your Pride_. LOL! I think I'll eventually end up doing all of S5's episodes, but not right away. S5 is _hard_! :)**

* * *

><p>Late in the evening of an otherwise average day, hoof beats sounded across the stones of the courtyard. <em>Who would come to the castle this late?<em> Any patrols would go directly to the stables, unless there was an emergency. The lack of warning bells meant friend, not foe. I couldn't see much when I looked out the window; just Leon and a few guards handling the matter. I assumed I'd hear about it at some point.

Several minutes later, Leon entered my chambers to report. Princess Mithian of Nemeth and her servant, an old woman, had ridden nonstop from Nemeth. Their reasons were still unknown, as the Princess was unconscious and appeared to be ill. And the servant was too concerned with her mistress to talk. He mentioned that he'd mostly carried her to guest chambers and left her in the hands of Gaius and Merlin.

Not much later, a knock sounded at my door. _Leon again?_ "Yes," I called, but Merlin entered. _Ah_. "How is she?"

"She's shaken and obviously worn out, but she'll live," he said.

"Excellent. I'll speak with her right now." I stood and walked to the door, but Merlin stepped in my path.

"No, you won't." _Huh?_

"Excuse me?"

"She's to be left alone until morning." Says _who_?

"This is important." I need to know why she's here.

"And so is the wellbeing of the princess." He didn't budge.

_Oh, I get it_. _Power trip_. "Did you just issue me a command?"

"Yes sire."

"Feels good, doesn't it?

"It's not bad." He gave me a small smile. I turned to walk away, thinking. "Arthur?"

I sat back down. "Something must have happened to force them into riding all night." Mithian's not an impulsive woman and wouldn't have gone through this for a mere social call.

"We'll find out in the morning, sire," he said firmly, and left.

xxxXxxx

The next morning, I convened the council, and when she was ready, Mithian came in to address us. She still looked quite distressed. _Merlin_ had escorted her down, interestingly enough. She sat gingerly and began speaking.

"They arrived at night with no notice. We were not ready. We could not stop them." She was still so frightened that her voice broke several times.

"You said it was three days ago," I said.

She nodded, and her face crumpled up like she was fighting tears. "His men displayed no compassion. They felled us like trees."

I had to shove the anger and disgust I felt behind a mask. "Odin gives no thought to the misery he brings about."

"And your father?" Guinevere asked.

"He was seriously injured, but we were able to get away," she replied

_A little good news_. "Where is he currently?"

Her head dropped. "We got nearly to the border, but he could not go on any more. Odin's men will be looking for us. And they will find him soon enough."

"I understand."

She glanced over at her servant. "My father is old. He cannot look after himself. I've nobody else to ask for help, but you, Arthur. You're my last hope."

I glanced at Guinevere; I saw that she felt the same as I did. "Mithian, I know how you're suffering and I will do all I can to aid you."

A tear ran down her face. "Thank you, my Lord."

I talked with her one-on-one for a few minutes, to clarify the details then excused her so she could return to her chambers and rest. The whole ordeal had clearly taken a toll on her. It must have been horrifying for her to be reduced to this, though I didn't think any less of her for it. I eyed the members of my privy council, making sure they knew to follow me when I left.

We convened in my chambers. Several maps had been laid on the table, at my direction. I unrolled the ones I wanted and pointed as I spoke. "Rodor has taken sanctuary here by the ancient tomb of King Loath. From our border, it's three leagues."

"Mithian can guide us there?" Leon asked.

"She is improving quickly," Gaius confirmed.

"The only way to get Rodor out is with speed and stealth. We'll use a small band of knights," I explained, looking around to make sure everyone understood.

"To sneak over the border and return in a few hours," Elyan guessed.

"Right."

"Sire, if I might?" Gaius asked.

I looked at him. "Yes Gaius."

"Odin has been after your blood for a while. If he discovers this you could have an entire army at chasing you."

_Hmm_. "A valid concern, but Odin doesn't know where Rodor is and we do. When he realizes what's happened, we'll be long gone. We'll stay overnight in the Forest of Gedref and depart at dawn."

That was the plan, at least. Of course things never go exactly as planned, but this one stood a good chance of success. I was pretty optimistic, and the others seemed to be as well. No one said anything to the contrary as they left the room.

Later, I studied the maps as Guinevere prepared for bed. She'd been quiet since the privy council left. _Maybe something about the plan had bothered her?_ But she hadn't said anything during the meeting, which led me to believe she was all right with it. I felt that way up until she started speaking.

"Arthur, why did you agree to aid Mithian?" _Uh oh_.

I glanced at her. "Well, Nemeth _is_ our ally," I replied. It was _part_ of the truth.

"One tiny mistake and Camelot might lose its king." _There it is_.

"That's a gamble I'm ready to take." _Deflecting_.

"For Nemeth? Or for yourself?" _Uh oh_.

_She nailed me_; I gave up deflecting and sat back. "What do imply by 'for myself?'"

"Odin took your father's life. I know you've been waiting for an opportunity to get even."

I stood—better to defend myself. "What I think about Odin is a separate issue."

"Truthfully?"

She obviously didn't believe me. I began walking to her for further reassurance. "No question. This is about aiding our allies, no more, no less."

"Excellent. I just needed to be certain." She let herself be reassured, though I don't think she was, not really.

I put my hands on her shoulders. "Asking was totally appropriate. I depend on your truthfulness, Guinevere. And I love you for it." I bent down to kiss her forehead and walked back to the table. I couldn't admit to her that finally dealing with Odin _was_ a small part of my motivation for helping.

xxxXxxx

The next morning I was walking down the corridor when a familiar voice arrested me. _I thought I'd sent him to collect my things; how could he be done so quickly?_ "Sire! Hold up!"

I rolled my eyes but stopped anyway. "What is it?" I asked impatiently. As if I didn't already know what he was going to say. But he _did_ have everything with him.

He stopped in front of me. "The mission, sire . . ."

_Yep_. I headed him off. "It's too risky so I shouldn't do it."

He looked a little surprised. "You were thinking something similar?"

"No, I'm thinking that's always what you say, but here I am." I made a show of looking down at myself. "Two legs, two arms, my own teeth." I bared my teeth at him and walked off.

After a moment, he followed. "I've got a weird feeling that we're missing something. Maybe there's something we don't know?"

_Another feeling, hmm_. "But you can't tell me what."

"No," he reluctantly admitted.

"No." _I thought so_.

We rounded a corner and he stopped again. "Perhaps we should postpone the mission? Just until we get all the facts straight."

I turned to face him. "All right," I said, and pretended to turn away. "So, would _you_ like to tell Princess Mithian that we chose to let her father die since you have 'a weird feeling'?" I paused for an answer I knew he wouldn't give. "I thought not." He followed silently the rest of the way into the courtyard, where everyone was preparing to leave.

Everyone was ready in short order, and we cantered out of Camelot. After a couple hours, we stopped near a brook to rest ourselves and the horses. I told Merlin to help Mithian down from her horse and assist her with anything she needed. He also took our water skins to refill them.

I gave him what I thought was enough time, then went looking for him down at the brook. It looked like he'd finished and was just talking to Gaius—but this was no time for idle chatter. "We must get to the border by nightfall. Let's go!" I told them.

Just before sunset, we started looking for a place to camp. Leon spotted the remains of a burned-down house, so we stopped there. Everyone halted and began the usual tasks of camping for the night—unpacking, building fires, preparing food, and laying out bedrolls. After Merlin handed me dinner, he sat next to me and looked around, deep in thought. _Any minute now_ . . .

"Arthur? Are you certain this is the proper thing to do?" he asked, looking at me. _And there it is_.

"Hmm. Your 'weird feeling' again, yes?" I replied. _He's not going to give this up_.

"Something like that."

Something struck me then. "Have you talked to Guinevere lately?"

"No. What makes you ask? Did she have doubts about the mission too?" _How does he _do_ that?_

But I _could_ tell him what I couldn't tell her. I looked at him. "Odin is a scourge upon this land. I can't simply sit around and allow him to murder Mithian's father like he murdered mine."

"I saw what he did. I know why you detest him. But to endanger so much for one tiny act of vengeance . . ." _Maybe he's reading my mind; that's my conscience talking_.

I'd turned away, but looked back at him for this. "Okay Merlin, tell me—if you were me, if you were in my place, would you act differently?"

He didn't shy away. "Perhaps . . . not." _And there's my second opinion_.

I started to finish eating, but a sound in front of us drew our attention. Mithian's servant, Hilda, cried out and stumbled. "Ah."

"Gaius!" Merlin yelled. He got up and walked over to the old woman.

The physician was there quickly and he and Merlin helped her up. "It's okay. Simply breathe in. There you go."

"I'm all right," she said. Mithian came up behind the group, looking kind of anxious.

"Naturally. Let us be certain anyway," Gaius told her.

"It's not needed," she tried to tell him.

"Hilda, if you're ill you should allow Gaius to help you," I told her. The commotion had attracted the attention of several knights, who had come up behind me.

"Of course, if you insist," she finally agreed. Gaius and Merlin helped her to where the ladies' things were set up. She sat while Gaius examined her. Mithian and Merlin watched.

Gaius came back a little later to tell me she was fine, just exhausted. That was a relief; Mithian wouldn't be deprived of her comfort after all.

xxxXxxx

I woke at the usual time in the morning. After a quick breakfast, I walked a little away from the camp to look out over the river valley that marked the border between Camelot and Nemeth. It's a moment of peace I long for but rarely receive. Footsteps behind me signaled its end.

"Sire!" Leon's voice calls.

"Have the scouts come back?" I asked.

He stopped a few paces behind me. "Yes, sire. They've reported considerable numbers of Odin's men just across the border."

"They're searching for Rodor."

He came closer, for confidentiality. "Sire, we've only a small number. If we're seen there's no way to escape. Might it be wiser to wait here, to . . ?"

I cut him off there. "Unacceptable. Time is an extravagance we can't afford."

"We have decent protection. There's a chance the patrols will pass by us before long and . . ."

I couldn't help but feel irritated at his insistence, though I normally welcomed his opinion. "We're proceeding to Nemeth. Get ready to leave." I walked past him to go back to camp. _Real life stinks sometimes_.

I looked around for Merlin, to ask what he'd done so far, but I didn't see him. Mithian saw me looking, and told me she'd asked him to refill her water skin at the river. I called out, "Merlin?"

"Here! He's here," came Hilda's voice. But no Merlin appeared. I sent Gwaine to hurry him along, but he was back in a moment to grab Percival and Gaius then rush away again.

I ran to where I'd seen them disappear, only to see Gwaine reappear. He was followed by Gaius, Hilda and Percival, who was carrying Merlin over his shoulder. "What happened?"

"Hilda found him," Percival supplied.

"He was down by the river. I think he fell," the old woman said.

"Gaius?" I asked. _This was not good for _many_ reasons_.

"He's suffered a serious knock to the head." The physician supplied as he examined his ward.

"But he'll be okay?" I attempted to hide my concern as he looked up to answer me.

"He should be all right sire, but there's no telling when he'll return to consciousness."

I knew what I _wanted_ to do and what I _should_ do weren't compatible in this situation. I glanced at the knights standing there and made my decision. "We can't hold back for him. Not if we want to reach Rodor before Odin's men." I thought for a way to make this okay for me. "Gwaine, wait here with Merlin and Gaius. Everyone else will head for Nemeth."

I really hated leaving them there like that, but there was a lot more on the line than Merlin's health. I told everyone to grab what they needed and move out. I led the group along the ridge to guide us to our goal.

I paused when I spotted an old structure in the near distance. It was probably the tomb the Princess had spoken of. She came up behind me and confirmed my suspicion, "The tomb sits slightly east of the river."

I turned to face the line of people behind me. "We're almost across Camelot's border with Nemeth. It's Odin's territory now. Keep your eyes open."

After another hour or so of walking, we came to a fork in the path. Mithian, now ahead of me, stopped, seeming unsure of which way to go. I stopped just behind her and asked, "You sure you know the way?"

She nodded. "Yes. We're pretty close. If we keep going east the tomb will be right ahead."

We walked for maybe another hour when the structure we'd seen across the river loomed about fifty yards from us. "Is that it?" I inquired.

"Yes. We ought to find my father within," the Princess confirmed.

"Let's move," I said, eager to get this over with. I told most of the knights to stay where we were, to intercept any hostiles. When we got closer to the mouth of the cave, I made another decision. "Leon, Elyan, go look out with the others. Percival, on me."

I guided Mithian in front to lead us, and we followed her into the dark. After a couple minutes she turned as if to speak, but seemed to change her mind and say something else. "The burial chamber is up ahead, near the end of the corridor." She didn't look up as I passed her; was she afraid of something?

A couple more twists and turns and we entered the burial chamber. The tomb itself was in the center of the room, but something, rather someone, was missing. "What's going on? Where's your father?" Puzzled, I turned to look at her, but she was cowering against the wall.

"He's not here." _I can see that_.

She looked very frightened of something. I didn't understand what, but an uneasy feeling began to spread over me. Along with a little anger. "Then where is he?"

"Arthur I—" she began, then I hear footsteps coming down the corridor. I glanced at Percival as if he could answer who, but he looked as confused as I was. The two of us drew our swords and looked at the doorway; men wearing the livery of Odin's kingdom walked in. They spread around the walls of the room. After another glance at Percival, we engaged the ones closest to us.

We managed to take down a couple of men before their number overwhelmed and subdued us. Percival's head was forced down to the tomb's cover. Three men held my arms behind me, but I managed to face Mithian and yelled, "What harm have I done you?" She looked ready to throw herself on one of the enemy's swords. No words came from her, but she collapsed to the floor just before I was forced to my knees. _Painfully_. "Ah!"

Odin chose that moment to enter the room. _Why am I not surprised?_ Behind him, one of his men released King Rodor and Mithian ran to embrace him. _At last I see the truth_. "Arthur Pendragon. Finally. I've waited so long for this moment. You murdered my son. You stole what was most dear to me and now you'll pay the price."

To my surprise, Hilda's voice came so quickly after his she'd nearly cut him off. "And it can't come too soon. You aren't the only one who's waited for this moment, Odin." I turned to look at her. "Looks can be deceiving, _dear brother_."

_And the other shoe drops._ "Morgana."_ I am so blind_.

"And now, you will pay the price," Odin said with relish.

I looked up at the coward king. "My father's life wasn't enough?"

"No."

I glanced at Percival. _There really was no way out_. "So be it. But know this Odin; if you kill me you'll have all of Camelot to contend with."

"Camelot is weak without a king."

I had to chuckle—he really had _no _idea. "Then you don't understand my knights. They'll chase you. And they _will_ unearth you. And they won't stop until they're done."

"I'll take care of your knights before long but now your moment has come." He drew his sword and grinned in malicious anticipation.

I saw a de-aged Morgana walk around to get a better view. Odin raised his sword while I tried to make my peace with the world. Everything I'd never see again, never do . . . then the earth started to shake. Everyone standing, including Odin, fell backwards. Chunks of rock began falling from the walls and ceiling. I jumped up, grabbed Odin's sword and elbowed him in the face. As he went down, I sliced at one of his men and tossed the sword to Percival. I picked up a new sword and attacked another bad guy. I turned to face one about to end me and he went down.

I looked through the dust to see someone most unexpected. "Merlin?"

"Hurry, this way!" he yelled to the room at large and gestured to the doorway. Rodor, Mithian, Percival, and I followed his direction without question.

I led the way out of the tomb. Percival helped Mithian and Rodor; Merlin brought up the rear. We ran into the woods only to see more of Odin's men chasing us. "This way!" I yelled, hopefully following the path that Mithian had brought us on. A few men managed to ambush us from the sides. Percival and I took out a pair, and I turned to see that Rodor had as well.

My amazement must have shown on my face, because Rodor paused to say, "Don't be so surprised. I led an army in my time."

I smiled. "And you will again," I told him before we resumed our flight.

We'd run a fair distance before I heard Rodor say from behind me, "Leave me!" He'd stopped, apparently quite winded.

I stopped and walked back to him. "That's not happening. You're the reason we came."

Everyone else had stopped too. "Leave me. Save Mithian," he pleaded. Percival put his arm around him to help him continue.

I glanced past him to see Odin running with a few of his men. "Go along the ridge line," I told Mithian, making a quick decision.

"What about you?" Rodor asked.

I glanced at Merlin. "We'll divert them another direction."

"No!" Mithian protested.

"This dispute concerns me and Odin. You have no more part in it," I told her, grabbed Merlin and started running in our original direction. Without further protest, Mithian followed her father and Percival. With any luck, Odin would follow _us_—it _was_ me he was really after.

He did follow us, but eventually we found ourselves trapped in a dead end ravine. We stopped and turned to face Odin as he ran up the incline to us. He stopped; I glared and twirled my sword menacingly.

One of his men tried to run past him, but he put out an arm to stop him. "No! I want to do this myself."

I walked toward him, not looking away. He took that as an invitation and struck first. I parried and slashed back. He had anger on his side, but his age negated that advantage. We traded a few blows before I was able to knock him to the ground. He got up and attacked again, trying to make up for his disadvantage by fighting two-handed. I equaled him with one hand. At one point he put too much power into his swing and got slightly off-balanced; that allowed me to kick him behind his knees. He went down but swung one last time. I parried it easily and sent his sword flying; I whipped mine to his neck as it went.

Before I could even think about what to do next, Merlin shouted. "Arthur! Stop." Something in his voice made me pause. Odin just glared. "Consider what you're doing. What benefit will this bring about? How often have you spoken of uniting this land? Will slaying this man lead to that vision any quicker?" His voice got softer as he spoke—my conscience speaking through him again.

I thought long before I spoke next, still trying to catch my breath. "He's right. This is no solution."

Odin maintained his glare while saying, "End this. End this and be done."

I wanted to roll my eyes, but managed to just look away. "Then what happens? Your people will take their revenge. A war with no end."

"What other way is there?" _He's already given up_.

_I don't want this to turn out the way it had with Caerleon_. "_Peace_ is another way. In exchange for your life, you have to return Rodor to the throne of Nemeth."

"Even if I consent it doesn't resolve anything. What about _us_, Pendragon?" Of course he still wants me dead—me or _him_.

"A treaty. Constraining our kingdoms to peace." I prefer _no one_ die.

"Never." _Stubborn fool_ . . .

I leaned closer to him—I couldn't believe his level of obstinacy. "Do you really want this? To die here, now, realizing you consign this land to war. Odin, you can't allow it to end like this. The blood will never wash away."

"You killed my son." _He values vengeance more than the lives of his people?_

"You killed my _father_!" I yelled. "Both of us have suffered loss at the other's hand. Let's not lose any more. I'm giving you the ability to end this. Take it!" I threw my sword into the ground and offered my hand to the other king. "Take it."

"So be it. A treaty it is." He took my hand and pulled himself up, staring straight into my eyes.

We slowly walked out of the ravine together. At the top, we discussed a series of visits between kingdoms to discuss and finalize the treaty. I was mostly relieved that the running and chasing were over. Knowing he didn't want my head anymore also helped. When that was finished, Merlin and I eventually found the Nemethian royalty and the group of knights we'd started the day with. I decided we'd stay for the night where we were and finish the trek back to Camelot in the morning.

xxxXxxx

The trip home seemed to go a lot faster than the trip _to_ Nemeth. We made it by late afternoon, and in no time, Gaius was checking our guests over. He started with Rodor, since he looked the most worse for wear.

"Your injuries are tender, sire, but shallow. You'll mend in time," he told the older king.

"Thank you Gaius," Rodor replied.

"Odin's pulled his army out of Nemeth and its lands," I told them. I'd just received a message from a courier the invader king had sent.

"All thanks to you," Mithian said.

"Everyone played a part, of course." It _had_ been a group effort and I'd barely swallowed my pride in time to help. I'd turned to walk away when her voice made me pause.

"I know I played mine. Arthur . . ."

_She didn't know I'd forgiven her_. "Mithian, there's no need to apologize. You didn't have a choice. If it had been my father I'd have done the same thing."

"Camelot is lucky to have a king like you." _Whoa there_.

"I am the lucky one." I glanced over at Rodor to be sure he'd understand. "Camelot would be nothing without the bravery and devotion of its friends." I put a comforting hand on her arm; she smiled and nodded.

When I turned I saw Guinevere smiling in approval. _Another reason why I'm lucky_. We left the room together, but she didn't speak until we were in the corridor. I was pleasantly surprised when she took my hand.

"You could have slain Odin; it was your right. But you did something much more significant. You granted the people of this land hope for the future. I'm pleased," she said, and briefly put her other hand on my arm too. I looked down at her brilliant smile.

Since I was feeling particularly humble, I admitted something else to her. "Merlin ought to have a little of the credit. It seems he's not always completely stupid."

"Is that praise?" she asked playfully.

"Don't let him know, whatever you do. I'll never hear the end of it." From her smile I couldn't tell whether she'd keep that to herself or not. She didn't say anything back to me either. I guess I'd just have to hope and pray he wouldn't ever hear those words. Because I really _wouldn't_ ever live them down.

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><p><strong>I was going to skip doing <em>The Disir<em>, because I dislike it intensely (in my head I call it "a series of stupid mistakes"). But it's rather an interesting one for Arty, so woo hoo! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am _really_ sorry for the update delay! NaNoWriMo and December got in my way. But I'll soon finish my big project and get back to my regular life. Now, enjoy Arthur's view of 5.5, _The Disir_. :)**

* * *

><p>Mordred possesses several qualities that would make him an excellent knight, or I wouldn't have knighted him. He even had respectable sword fighting skills, which was admirable for a kid living a transient life. He was taking to training very well, and this morning I decided to test how he was coming along by fighting him myself.<p>

He came at me with a very strong blow; he was actually very well-built. At one point he nearly sliced my neck open. He had several unconventional moves that didn't distract from his fighting; they reminded me of Lancelot and Gwaine. But he didn't win the fight, though he was much closer to it now than he'd been when he started training.

"You're becoming capable, Mordred, _very_ capable," I told him as I reached out a hand to help him off the ground.

"My lord," he replied in his humble way.

"I may have to actually try soon."

"Sire?" I heard Merlin say. He was applauding as he approached us.

But I was busy explaining to Mordred what he could have done better, so we walked right by. I knew he'd follow. "And you should always remember . . ." When I'd finished teaching Mordred, I clapped him on the back and sent him back to training. I'd had all I was going to get—I just had too much to do.

I was explaining to Merlin why he'd been brushed off when we got to my chambers. "Mordred used a contre quarte to my high-line attack. It was skillfully done."

"Hmm?" he asked in an uninterested way.

"Do you know what a contre quarte is?"

"I'm guessing it's a type of parry, beginning in the quarte position and ending with a twist of the wrist."

I had to stop my mouth from falling open. "You've been listening." I went behind my changing screen. "So how do you judge young Mordred?"

"He's, uh, progressing well." Now he was _definitely_ unenthusiastic. Come to think of it, he hadn't been enthused about Mordred since we brought him here. _I wonder why?_

"He has the potential to be an excellent knight, don't you think?"

"Camelot has many excellent knights." _Still wishy-washy_.

"Yes, I think that he'll be one of the best, and I've decided he'll receive only encouragement from me." I then tossed my doublet over the screen. Hopefully it landed on his head.

xxxXxxx

Later in the day, I sat in the council chambers with a group of senior knights. Though I wasn't expecting him, Leon came striding in a few minutes late. "Sir Leon, any news from the east?" I asked.

He sat next to Percival as he spoke. "Grave news, I fear, sire. As you know, a few days ago, our troops in the Forest of Brechfa stopped the man known as Osgar."

_Ah yes_. "The sorcerer?"

"Yes. They tried to detain him but he used his magic to flee. I regret to say . . . Sir Ranulf was fatally injured."

_Not him_. "Sir Ranulf? He was a steadfast and faithful knight." I thought for a moment, coming to a quick decision. "Set all the men in the east on high alert."

"Yes, sire."

I stood and the rest of the table followed suit. "I'll lead a patrol to deal with this Osgar." No one spoke, though I knew there were probably a few who disagreed with my decision. I left the room to begin preparing.

When I got back to my chambers, Guinevere was there. We conversed about how the meeting had gone. After a while she fell silent and I began moving around the room to find things.

"Do you have to go yourself?" She finally asked. I knew _exactly_ where she was going with this.

"A king is required to lead, or why does he exist?" Answering with another question would hopefully distract her.

"You led the men that rescued Mithian's father—and I almost lost you." _I really should stop underestimating her_.

Feeling a little ashamed, I didn't look at her. "He must be punished for Sir Ranulf's death."

"You have several good men who can get revenge for you."

I leaned on the table. "He wasn't only a knight, Guinevere, he was a friend. We grew up together. I _have_ to go." _Now to cheer her_. "Don't worry. I'll be in safe hands. As you say, I have several good knights." A knock on the door sounded.

"Yes?" I called.

The door opened and Mordred stepped part way through. "You wanted to talk to me, sire?"

"Ah, Mordred, come in, come in. It's time for you to go with your king."

He walked over to the table where I was standing. "My lord?"

"I would like you to accompany me on a patrol to the White Mountains."

The look on his face was priceless. "_Me?_ To Brechfa?" He glanced at Guinevere, who smiled at him.

"Congratulations."

"This is a huge honor. I . . ."

I briefly clapped his upper arm. "You've earned this chance. Be prepared to go at first light."

"I will be, my lord." He walked to the door before turning to say, "You won't be sorry for this. I swear." He closed the door.

"He has the potential to be a fine knight," I told Guinevere.

She smiled. "It looks like you've gotten fond of him."

I couldn't help smiling back at her. "It's something I do."

xxxXxxx

When I was ready in the morning, I walked out to the courtyard where everyone, even Merlin, was waiting. I heard Gwaine, Leon, Elyan, and Percival laughing at something as I walked past them to my horse.

"Are you certain this is a wise idea?" Merlin asked. He pointed at Mordred.

We watched him mount his horse. "He's a decent fighter, a courageous knight," I replied.

"He's untested."

"Merlin, would any of us be where we are, if nobody had given us a break?" I got on my horse and nudged it into a walk. "Gentlemen!" I called the knights back to order. Guinevere stood at the bottom of the steps; I noticed her waylay Merlin.

"Merlin!" I yelled to get him moving. We couldn't wait all day.

Once we were out of the lower town, we started to gallop. We rode until we were a good distance into the woods. After we started to walk the horses I heard Leon say, "It's a tradition."

"Goes back years," Elyan added.

"Everyone has to do it on their first patrol," Percival said. _Oh, they were at it again with Mordred_.

"Mordred, what in the world are you doing?" I asked, then looked around at him, sitting backwards in the saddle. I turned back around so he couldn't see my grin.

"Molding the saddle, my lord," the young knight replied.

"As in the respected tradition . . . of molding," Gwaine explained.

"Certainly. I assume your trousers are on inside out?" I asked.

"My lord?" He sounded more than a little confused. Everyone laughed and we rode on.

A little while later, Gwaine held up a hand to halt us. He dismounted and looked at the ground. "It's Osgar. He's nearby."

Everyone dismounted and we tethered the horses to continue the search on foot. Percival, walking along the tree line, found broken foliage and brought it back to me. "He's getting sloppy."

"Sire?" Mordred said, pointing down the path with his sword. A figure in a brown robe darted into the trees.

We all started running. Gwaine and Elyan ran in the direction he was going in to hopefully intercept him. Leon and Percival went in the other direction. Mordred, Merlin and I kept to the center path. When I heard footsteps behind us, I whirled around and yelled, "Stop!" Mordred and I raised our swords.

"Sire . . . My name is Osgar." He stopped and dropped into a bow, then fell to his knees. _Was he wounded?_

"I'm familiar with you," I told him. We continued advancing on him.

"The sacred Disir sent me to pass judgment on Arthur Pendragon, the Once and Future King." _There's that phrase again_.

"What right do you have to judge him?" Mordred asked. _Did he understand what Osgar was trying to say?_

"No one is above the Disir—however royal. It's my task to deliver their verdict to you, great King." He reached into his robe and Mordred ran closer; he put his sword to Osgar's neck. "My holy duty." He pulled out a large coin. I looked over at Mordred to signal him to stand down. "Your hand . . . Arthur Pendragon." I walked closer and he placed the coin in my waiting palm. "It's completed." He stared at me oddly. I didn't understand the reasoning for this.

"What does this mean?" I asked him.

"It is both judgment and fate. You have fought the people of the Old Religion. Now the old gods act in response to you. The Disir have spoken. The circle of fate has started to close. For even as Camelot flowers, the seeds of her destruction are being sown."

Ominous words, but how could I believe them coming from a sorcerer? I glanced briefly at Mordred and Merlin, but they seemed not to know either. "What absurdity is this?"

Osgar reached out to get my attention. "You still have time, Arthur. Time to find the right way. Save yourself. You'll have no more chances." He collapsed to the ground, still holding out his hand. I walked closer to him to check for signs of life. He breathed a couple more times before becoming still. No pulse.

I asked Merlin to take the body into the woods so it was off the path. He was gone for a bit longer than he should have been, so I sent Mordred after him. They returned just after Percival and Leon had caught up with me. Gwaine and Elyan were still missing, so we all went to find them.

Both were lying unconscious on the ground. When woken, they told us how they'd confronted Osgar. He'd magically tossed their swords away, and when Gwaine stabbed him with his dagger, he'd tossed them too. They were beat up but could walk, so we went back to the horses to camp for the night.

Once everything was set up, I asked Merlin to look at Elyan's and Gwaine's injuries. Elyan had gotten away with a few bruises but Gwaine's dislocated shoulder took more work. Finally they finished, and I heard Merlin say, "The swelling should decrease by morning."

And Gwaine's reply, "I hope so."

"How are they?" I asked when Merlin walked past me to the fire.

"I've applied poultices. They'll heal quickly," he replied.

"You're a capable physician, Merlin," Mordred complimented.

"I've just paid attention to Gaius."

"He also cooks a really good breakfast, as you'll find out, eh, Merlin?" I said, but he didn't reply. "Now I've upset him," I whispered to Mordred, who laughed quietly. "Move closer, Merlin, warm up, have a drink. To young Mordred—and his first official mission." The knights and I toasted him.

"It was nothing," Mordred said. He was too modest.

"It was well-timed and perceptive." Merlin hadn't participated in the toast and hadn't said anything. "Merlin!"

"Congratulations," Merlin finally said, without feeling. _What was wrong with him?_

"If he died and was given everlasting bliss, I think he'd find a way to be depressed. Come, Merlin, we've won." Something was _definitely_ bothering him.

"Osgar could have killed you without difficulty," he stated.

_Well _that's_ cheerful_. "But here I am, alive." _He's killing my good mood_.

"He was a sorcerer; he was quite capable of it." _And again_.

"He was disturbed."

"And the runemark?" _That coin?_ I picked it up.

"A bauble—that's all. Here." I tossed it to him; he actually _caught_ it and started examining it. "I'll have the jeweler prepare it as a souvenir of our victory."

A little while later, we all went to bed. Everyone was mentally or physically beat up, it seemed, so we needed our rest. In the morning, we took our time getting ready to go. Merlin looked a bit more cheerful but still didn't say much. He probably hadn't had enough time to imagine my doom yet.

The trip back to Camelot didn't take long, but it left my sullen servant more than enough time to brood. As we dismounted and walked into the castle, he didn't say a word—just strode in ahead of me as if he had something better to do.

"Are you feeling well, Merlin?" I asked him.

"Yes, my lord," he replied without stopping. Since _when_ did he say "my lord?"

"It's just—I've come to notice your face looking like the rear end of a cat." No response; that was almost insulting. "Wow, you don't even laugh at my jokes any longer. Really. . ." I stopped and he did too, amazingly. "You haven't smiled much these past few days."

"I'm not certain there's anything to smile about." I rolled my eyes and blew out a sigh. He'd be a tough nut to crack. He continued on to Gaius's chamber while I went into mine.

Shortly after I'd changed and freshened up a bit, Merlin came back to ask me to visit Gaius. He must have given the coin to the physician, who could provide more answers. Of course Merlin _could_ _have_ jaded him too. I guess I'd have to see.

When I came into his chambers, Gaius stood. "Sire, thanks for coming. Please." He gestured for me to sit and I did so.

"I hope Merlin doesn't have you believing this absurdity too, Gaius," I told him.

He sat down and Merlin came to stand next to him. "This is a runemark, my lord."

I wanted to roll my eyes again, but just glanced at Merlin. He folded his arms and stared back stubbornly. "So everyone insists on saying."

"In times of yore, seeing this mark caused extreme dread. It was presented to those deemed unrepentant by the court of the Disir."

"The Disir?" Merlin asked before I could.

"The highest court of the Old Religion." At that phrase I had to force myself to not tune him out. "Three women were selected at birth to be trained as seers and soothsayers. Their sole duty was to clarify the words of the Triple Goddess. When they sat in judgment, their word was absolute."

"This decrepit superstition has no significance now. I don't see how it could affect me _or_ Camelot."

I could see he was trying to not feel slighted I'd insulted his former beliefs. "Because, sire, the Disir have deigned to give you this. It is the judgment of the gods against you."

_He was taking this seriously?_ "This is . . . _rubbish_, isn't it?"

"The Old Religion believed that the runemark didn't just contain a man's guilt but the course that the gods had laid for him. That is why it is both judgment _and_ fate."

I stood while he was talking. "I choose my own course." I'd started walking away.

"Do you?" I stopped and looked back at him. "They say that only the gods can change a man's fate . . . And even then, only after he repents and pacifies them." _Maybe his beliefs _aren't_ in the past_.

I walked back to him. "You don't think any of this is true? _Gaius?_"

He didn't say anything for a few moments, but glanced at Merlin. "I am an old man, sire. Old enough to beware of setting aside other peoples' beliefs." That didn't answer my question, but I'd had enough. I picked up the coin and stared at it, turning it around in my hand. I looked back at Gaius; his expression hadn't changed. If he was wary of it, maybe that was reason enough to be wary myself.

I marched myself back to my chambers. Merlin followed after a few minutes, though I got the feeling he didn't particularly want to be near me. But it was nearly time for dinner and I had to change clothes, so he was going to hear me rant while I wandered about the room.

"Haven't I made Camelot a decent and honorable kingdom?" I asked him.

"Indeed, my lord," he replied. _More "my Lord" stuff. Where's his honest opinion when I actually want it?_

"Haven't I freed it of the harshness and prejudices of the past?"

"You have." _Come on_.

"I am not my father."

"No." _Be outspoken_.

"So why do they judge me like this?" I did actually want to know and he seemed to know more than he was saying.

"I don't think I'm the one to ask." _Yep, still upset. Too bad_.

"I am asking you . . . Merlin. Man to man." I crossed directly in front of him, to look him right in the eye.

"Maybe they think you're sufficiently worthy to be judged." That sounded like a guess.

"What does that mean?" _Explain_.

"Judgment is pointless to a . . . man who won't heed it." _True_.

_Hmm_. "You believe I should listen to them?"

"I believe you have already." He was silent as I pondered that. Then, "If there's nothing else . . .?"

"No. Thank you." I thought for a moment he had come out of his ill humor, but maybe not.

xxxXxxx

After dinner I sat brooding in my chambers. _Great, now Merlin's mood was rubbing off on me_. I simply sat at my desk, fiddling with the coin in my hand. That's where Guinevere found me when she returned for the night.

"Arthur? I assumed you'd be hungry. You didn't eat anything at dinner," she said while setting a tray of food in front of me. _I still wasn't hungry_.

"Thank you. That was nice," I replied, still distracted.

She sat on the desk. "He was a disturbed, wretched man. You said so yourself." She'd misunderstood my distraction, but it _was_ related.

"Merlin was correct—he could have taken my life but instead he felt it was more urgent to give me this, and he gave his life to do so."

"Who can understand the mind of a zealot?"

She was trying to help, but still wasn't right. "I didn't see that in his eyes, Guinevere. There was no hate there. It was something different— sympathy almost. Why would a sorcerer feel sympathy for a king?"

I was about to sink back into my brooding when she said, "Please, eat something."

I put the coin down, suddenly struck by something. "What if the Disir are correct? What if I have gone astray in some manner? Suppose I have put Camelot at risk?"

"Arthur, you are a worthy and fair king."

I looked at her, glad she believed it, but I wasn't sure. "The Disir don't seem to think so."

She got down from the desk and put her hands on my shoulders. "That's because they don't understand you as I do. If they did, they'd feel nothing but love." She kissed my head and whispered other reassurances of her affection to me. I let her think her efforts had worked, but they hadn't. Not really.

My mind continued to turn thoughts over and over, examining them. Trying to reconcile them, all night. Finally near dawn, with no sleep, I got up and dressed. There was only one way to find the answers and only one person knew how to find it. _Them_.

I quietly left my chambers and strode down to Gaius's. I didn't knock so much as pound on the door. _That should have woken _one_ of them up_. I heard voices inside and pounded again.

Gaius opened the door. "My lord, I . . ."

I got right to the point. "Where can the Disir be found?"

"Sire, I . . ."

I didn't have the patience for his protests. "Gaius, you're the only one who knows where to find them."

"Until yesterday I wasn't aware they still existed."

"But they do. As we can see." I held up the coin. "So again, where can they be found?"

"Sire, I don't believe it's prudent for you . . ."

_That's enough_. "Gaius, do I look like a man to mess with?"

He sighed, but gave in to me. "They say that the Disir prophesy using an ancient pool. In turn, its source is the hallowed spring at Caerlanrigh. The fount of the spring is a grove of yew trees in the White Mountains. The Grove of Brineved."

I felt tension drain from me. "Thank you." Looking at Merlin, I said, "We depart within the hour." I turned and left the room, trusting he'd be ready on time.

When he showed up at my chambers in fifteen minutes, I knew he'd taken me seriously. He helped me dress and finished my packing, then took off to ready our horses. By the time I got to the courtyard, he and the knights were waiting with their laden mounts.

I was adjusting a few things when I heard someone leading a horse come up behind me. "My lord, you journey to the White Mountains?" It was Mordred; I shouldn't be surprised.

"Yes," I told him without turning around.

"Then I respectfully request to go with you."

_I should have expected this too_. "This isn't for the untried, Mordred."

"Didn't I serve you well?"

"You did."

"I wish to do so again."

_He needed an explanation_. I turned to face him. "It is no simple sorcerer this time, Mordred. Our task is perilous —in ways we probably can't imagine."

"So you'll want worthy men with you." He was making a case for himself. "Allow me to serve and to do my duty."

I glanced at Merlin, who looked away. He wouldn't like this, but he didn't have to. "Merlin! Make sure he has what's needed." He nodded and walked off to procure the supplies.

Once Mordred was outfitted, we mounted up and rode out of Camelot. It wasn't a long journey, but would be strenuous for the horses—lots of hills. Gradually we were able to look down on the grove, which looked peaceful enough. But I knew very well that looks could be deceiving.

xxxXxxx

We descended the hill and tethered the horses several yards shy of the grove. There were strange symbols hanging here and there, probably marking the supposedly holy ground. We climbed a small rise and saw a cave just a few yards away. I halted the group and told them, "Keep close. Remember your positions." We started walking again.

"My lord," Merlin said. He sounded kind of worried.

"What is it, Merlin?"

"This is sacred ground."

_Ohh-kay_. "It's a cave, Merlin."

"It's not just a cave."

_Really_. "One cave is like any other to me."

"You mustn't bring weapons into a sacred place!"

_What?! Seriously?_ "You think we'd go in there unarmed?" I didn't hide my disbelief. He looked at the cave then back at me. "Of every nonsensical thing that you've ever uttered, Merlin- and there's been several -that is the most nonsensical. _By far_." I walked past him and into the cave.

There were more decorations hanging there. I heard someone behind me take one down and drop it to the ground. We walked a fair distance until we saw three women standing on a ledge. They carried staves and wore hooded cloaks that covered their faces. "I am Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot. I want to know the import of this." I held up the coin and tossed it toward their feet. "The Grove of Brineved lies in the kingdom of Camelot and is bound by its laws, its dictates. Every person, however lowly, however highborn, has the right to be judged only by his equals. But_ you_ judge me in absentia. Explain yourselves."

"We do not judge," the center one said.

"We do not condemn," the right one said.

"We are but the emissary of the one who governs over all," the left one said. After that I lost track of who said what, and it didn't seem to matter. They talked over one another.

"Who sees all."

"Who knows all."

"The Triple Goddess," they said together; it was _chilling_.

"And you, Arthur Pendragon, have enraged her."

"How so? Haven't I been a respectable king? Haven't I turned Camelot into a decent and honorable kingdom?" I asked.

"That much is correct."

"But you have rejected the Old Religion."

"Discarded its faith."

"Harassed its believers."

"Even unto murder."

"I oppose sorcery and superstition, that's all." Surely _that_ wasn't offensive.

"Accept the teachings of the Old Religion, Arthur. Or chance the anger of the Goddess."

"The ruin of all you value most."

"The end of your rule."

"The collapse of Camelot itself."

_How could they know all this? _"I object to being judged by people who don't know me."

"You are known, Arthur. You have been known for eons."

"And now you come here, to the most sacred of the sacred, to the center of the Old Religion, with weapons ready."

"Treading on holy relics."

"Handling our sacred place as you do your kingdom—with arrogance."

"With pride."

"With impudence." _They were so angry, but how could I have known all this?_

Gwaine stepped forward and yelled, "Silence! He is the _King_!" With a nod, one of the women threw Gwaine backwards.

Percival drew his sword. That prompted everyone else to follow suit. "On me!" I yelled. Another of the Disir threw her staff at me like a spear. But before I could do anything, Mordred jumped in front of me, took the staff in the chest and went down. "Merlin!" I yelled. He came over and helped lift Mordred. "Fall back!" I yelled next, telling everyone to _leave_. Merlin lagged behind, but when he ran out he came right over to Mordred to examine him. "How is he?" I asked him.

"This is no simple injury. Magic is involved," he said.

"Can you do anything for him?"

He didn't speak for a few moments. "This is beyond my knowledge, sire." He paused again then shook his head. "We must take him back to Camelot." _To Gaius_.

"That is a long and difficult trip. What if he doesn't live through it?" I could feel myself start to panic.

"Look," he said and touched my arm. Oddly enough, that calmed me. "I'm afraid that Gaius is the only person who can help him."

I turned to yell back at the rest of my men behind me. "Mount up. We're returning to Camelot." Everyone readied themselves quickly and we were on our way, galloping until sunset. The fact that we had to wait out the dark frustrated me, but there really was no choice.

In the process of setting up camp, Mordred was laid by the fire. I sat next to and watched over him. When Merlin had finished his usual tasks, he came over and bent to feel Mordred's forehead. "He's getting worse," I said. It wasn't a question, but a confirmation.

"Not much has changed," Merlin replied. He started walking away.

"I shouldn't have allowed him to come."

He stopped to say, "He wished to prove himself."

"And he did. He saved my life once again." I returned my gaze to Mordred. Merlin sat next to me but didn't say anything else.

In the morning, tasks were quickly completed, and we were again on our way to Camelot. It wasn't far, but I still felt weary as we walked the horses through the gate and into the courtyard. Several knights came from the door to Gaius's chambers and carried Mordred inside to him.

I followed them after I made sure everyone else was fine. Mordred lay on a bed and Gaius was examining his wound. He asked me for the story, listening closely. Then he sat across the bed from me, Merlin stood behind me. "Merlin is correct. This is no average injury. There is magic at work," he concluded.

_Damn_. "Can you help him?" I asked.

"I am but a physician—my knowledge has limits."

_I can't stop trying_. "Surely there is something that can be done."

"Maybe. I will do everything within my knowledge, sire."

I stood. "Please tell me the instant he progresses . . . or . . ." I glanced at him.

He understood perfectly. "I will." I forced myself to leave. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't stay with Mordred; I had to do _something_.

xxxXxxx

I walked back to my chambers. Thankfully, Guinevere was waiting for me. She helped me take off my armor and poured me a glass of wine. I took it and wandered over to the window, where I leaned against the wall and sipped. But she could read my mind. "You're not to blame. He beseeched you to let him go—it was considerate to permit it."

"It was idiocy," I asserted.

"No."

"You informed me that Mordred had a powerful sense of duty."

"That's right."

"You told me he was impulsive too. I should've listened to you." I'd already determined that _no one_ could possibly make me feel better.

"No, you shouldn't have." She stepped over and grasped my arm; that forced me to look at her. "If Mordred hadn't gone, it might be you at Gaius's dying. Mordred performed his duty so you might perform yours . . . To be king." There was a knock on the door then.

"Yes?" I called.

The door opened. Gaius entered and bowed; Merlin was behind him. "Sire," Gaius said.

I walked closer to them, sitting the goblet on the table. "You have news?" The lack of response said a lot. "I felt that when we'd returned him to Camelot and your aid. . ."

He cut me off. "The staff that made his wound was formed with powerful sorcery." _Bad news_.

"Even so . . ."

He cut me off _again_. "The toxin that flows through his veins is beyond treatment." _Worse news!_

"There has to be . . . _something_ you can do!"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry. Only the Disir themselves have the ability to counter their own sorcery. I'm afraid we must prepare ourselves for the worst."

My heart dropped then rose when I had an idea. "I'll go see them."

"Sire, I don't believe that is . . ."

I cut _him_ off. ". . . And plead for forgiveness." I looked at Merlin and started moving. "Ready the horses. We depart immediately." Gaius stepped out of the way and Merlin opened the door for me. This time it would be just the two of us. Less risk and less travel time.

Upon reaching the grove again, we tethered the horses in the same place and began walking to the cave. "Why do you venture so much for one man?" Merlin asked out of nowhere.

"I'd do the same for any knight," I replied.

"But, apparently, not for me." _Was that a hint of sarcasm?_

"_Really_, I would. Servants are hard to find —even shoddy ones."

"Aww, I'm touched." _He's coming back to his normal self_.

"Mordred saved my life. What greater obligation could one have?"

"The obligation to your citizens, to your destiny."

_Now he's getting too serious_. "It almost sounds like you care."

"Of course I care. About who you are, Arthur, who you're destined to become."

"If it's fated then it's not important what I do, it'll still come about." I stopped walking.

"Fate and destiny are not the same thing."

_Oh brother_. "You think too much Merlin. The situation is very simple. A brother-in-arms saves my life. So when he is in danger, it is my obligation to do everything I can to save him." I _think_ he got the picture, so I started walking again. When we got back to the grove, I paused. I pulled out my sword and laid it on a bush. I glanced at Merlin, who looked surprised but pleased. "I'm not completely inconsiderate, Merlin." I started walking again. "I realize that many people believe this is a sacred place. I'm even ready to allow that you're right on occasion." I thought for a moment. "Obviously I will deny I ever said that."

"Obviously."

And with that we walked into the cave, all the way to where the Disir waited for us. "Arthur Pendragon."

"King of Camelot."

"We have been waiting for you."

I walked a little closer and knelt. "My men and I acted with conceit and foolishness. We defiled this place and slighted your faith. I respectfully ask for your forgiveness." I paused a moment. "One among us, Sir Mordred . . . might still pay the ultimate price. I have come here to petition you for his life."

"Why should we aid you?" That was vicious, but not undeserved.

"I plead not for my benefit, but for a young man whose one fault was to give himself up for his king."

"The future contains much pain and anguish for you, Arthur Pendragon."

"For you and your people."

"If you want to protect everything you cherish."

"If you want to protect your kingdom."

"Accept the Old Religion."

"Follow her path."

"Yield to the Goddess."

_Harsh demands_. But I just can't accept a religion I know little about. Especially one that condones the use of magic. "You realize I cannot do that."

"Think carefully. You have until first light." _To choose between life and death for Mordred or my kingdom? How could I?_

Back outside the cave, we began to set up our bedrolls and lit a fire. Merlin left and came back with a second armful of wood. I asked him, "How did you recognize this place was hallowed?"

He looked surprised. "That's obvious," he replied, and crouched to sit the wood down.

"Assume it isn't."

He looked around the grove. "Everything here . . . is so filled with life. Every tree, every leaf . . ." I lifted my head up from where I was lounging. ". . . Every insect. It's like the earth is pulsing. Like everything is much _more_ than itself."

_He seemed totally transfixed_. "You sense all that?"

"Don't you?" I shook my head and the smile fell from his face. He got up and sat down on his bedroll. "What will you choose?"

"I don't know. My heart tells me to do whatever it takes to save Mordred." I had a hard time looking at him for some reason. "But I've witnessed what despair unfettered sorcery causes. Before my father banned magic, Camelot was nearly demolished by sorcery. During my time, Morgana has employed it for nothing except evil. What would you choose? In my position?"

"Me?" He seemed reluctant to answer. "I'm only a lackey, someone who cleans."

"Lackeys can be clever." _Was it the subject or did he really not know?_ "It's unlike you to be quiet."

"A kingdom's safety is at risk." He didn't look at me.

"And a man's life."

"You _have to_ defend Camelot. You have to defend the world you've given your life building—a free and upright kingdom for everyone." He hadn't hesitated then.

"You want me let a friend go?"

"I want you to become the king you are meant to be." _Not a direct answer_.

I sat up all the way. "If I _do_ save Mordred, the whole of my father's work will be for _nothing_. Sorcery will rule again in Camelot. Is that what you'd want?" He didn't respond but looked _very_ conflicted. "Maybe my father was mistaken, maybe the old ways aren't as evil as we'd believed. So what ought we to do? Allow magic? Or permit Mordred to die?"

I watched several emotions flit over his face and his eyes teared up. He glanced down, then back up. Finally he looked up and leaned forward, still hesitating before he spoke. "Magic can have no place in Camelot."

This somehow surprised me and _didn't_ surprise me. I didn't know how that was possible. I leaned back on my bedroll as disappointment washed through me. Disgust, anger and frustration followed soon after. The Disir had forced me into choosing between magic and peace, the good of the many versus the good of the one, and I hated it. I didn't imagine I'd get any sleep tonight, but I probably wouldn't be the only one.

The next morning, we packed up our things quickly. We wanted to get this trial over with and leave this place as soon as we could. Neither of us said a word as we returned to the cave. I did _not_ kneel this time.

"You have come again."

"Is your choice made?"

I hesitated a moment before speaking. "It is. I cannot do as you wish."

"Think carefully, Arthur Pendragon."

"This is your final opportunity to save all you hold dear."

"It will not be repeated."

I listened to them with some trepidation, but pressed on. "I have seen too much . . . to permit sorcery once more in Camelot."

"You have made your choice."

"Sealed your fate."

"And that of your kingdom."

"Goodbye. . . Arthur Pendragon," they said together. I took it as a dismissal, so I turned and left, Merlin followed.

Our ride back to Camelot went quickly . . . and silently, for the most part. When we were within sight of the citadel, Merlin finally spoke up. "You made the right decision."

"I sentenced a man to die," I replied.

"For the good of the kingdom."

I sighed. "He saved my life, Merlin. More than once."

"I know."

We'd fallen into silence again before we reached the courtyard. When we got to the steps, both of us dismounted and knights came to take our horses. I caught movement at the castle's entrance and glanced up. _Mordred_ walked outside, looking perfectly healthy and smiling broadly. I started walking toward him the same time as he came running down the steps. We grasped forearms and I brought him into a hug.

I don't know how he survived despite me making the "wrong" choice, but I didn't really care. I didn't know if this would doom Camelot after all, but I figured we'd fight whatever was thrown at us, and win. My depression lifted and I invited Mordred to spar with me on the training field. He won this time and I was so glad he was alive, I held him aloft in celebration. The smile on his face was worth _all_ the agony I'd had to go through.

* * *

><p><strong>Next up, <em>The Dark Tower<em>. I think that's the only one I'll do with Evil!Gwen. I _really_ can't stand her! :)**


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